... but that's garden-variety furry stuff -- some of you reading this are wearing hoofs right now. No, what sets these guys apart is when they start suggesting actual scientific ways in which you can go about your transformation:
Science, here and now, could turn you into a horse! I mean that: skeletons can be altered; skin and hair can be grafted; prosthetics can be designed; genetic mapping is only just beginning to illuminate super-healing properties latent within our bodies. You might only be able to become a cosmetic copy and you might have to put up with being a very small horse, but it is possible.
arodPEI/iStock"Here's you, you fucking underachiever!"
Please note that we're fairly certain it is not in fact possible, and if you meet a back-alley surgeon promising such a procedure for a price, we're thinking you're going to wake up in a bathtub missing a kidney.
Everyone should have a hobby; it's what keeps us off the streets. And who cares if instead of collecting something boring, like postage stamps or rare coins, you collect the shredded, bloody clothing of famous murder victims?
SEInnovation/iStock"LIMITED EDITION! SOFT COTTON! WOULD MASTURBATE ON AGAIN! A++++++"
Ah, now that we say it out loud, it does kind of seem like somebody should care. Welcome to the world of "murderbilia." On sites like murderauction.com (which uses Ed Gein's "Every man should have a hobby" as a slogan) and serialkillersink.net, you can purchase items ranging from a Led Zeppelin cassette originally owned by Richard Ramirez to a bag of dirt taken from the gravesite of Ed Gein to Charles Manson's unfinished prison burrito. In no way was that last one a joke, by the way:
Yes, every last artifact of these famous atrocities have been scraped together for sale to the ravenous collectors looking for items to place over their mantels. What better conversation starter than this 18th-century human skull riddled with bullet fragments? Look, honey, this guy got shot right in the fucking face!
murderauction.com"His expression of abject horror has been frozen in time!"
Hey, you could even frame the missing poster of Grace Budd, one of Albert Fish's victims, and display it in your den!
murderauction.com"Framing and bones not included."
If you're more into fashion, you can always get the Caylee Anthony Have You Seen Me T-Shirt, because nothing is more stylish than wearing the face of a dead child.
Perhaps the most depressing thing about these sites is that it's not always a bunch of maniacs selling maniac knickknacks to other maniacs. For instance, there's a bloodsoaked jacket from a surviving victim of the Aurora movie theater massacre in 2012 ... which the victim is selling herself to cover medical costs. So we guess it's good to know that's an option if we're ever the victim of a famous crime in the future?
Zanandi's eyes can't stop bleeding. Give her some love on Twitter
For more really disturbing shit the internet has spewed forth, check out 9 Disney Fan Drawings That Will Murder Your Childhood Joy and The 5 Most Horrific Sex Scenes In Fan Fiction History.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out The Truth Behind Every Internet Conspiracy Theory, and other videos you won't see on the site!
Follow us on Facebook, and we'll follow you everywhere.