3Ethan Hunt Is Fooled Not Once, Not Twice, but Four Times in Mission Impossible
With all its ridiculous plot twists and ultra-action, it's hard to imagine any coherent moral lesson coming from a series of films that play out less like spy movies and more like an imaginary playground game. Even the name of Hunt's agency, Impossible Mission Force, sounds more like something scrawled onto the side of a treehouse than onto a government-run building.
"Our front company is the International Monetary Fund."
But the movies are fun to watch. And there is one clear through line: Ethan is a good spy and a good man who loves his country and the company he works for.
Even though that company is fucking terrible.
First of all, Ethan gets wrongfully disavowed and hunted down by IMF in two of the three films, making them statistically more harmful than helpful. On top of that, in all three of these movies the bad guy is actually an agent for the IMF. All three films. This means that every problem of the series could go away if the agency had simply called it quits sometime in the '80s.
HE'S STILL WORKING FOR THEM!
You can tell just from the preview alone that Hunt is back to his old ways of running on the sides of tall things while in a constant state of explosion-caused propulsion. He is once more working for the IMF and from the looks of it is once more disavowed by them.
Look, it's one thing when your bosses repeatedly fuck up, it's another thing when they fuck up AND treat you like garbage -- and boy do they treat him like some salty garbage in the third film, when Ethan's boss learns that he led an unauthorized mission to successfully capture a known enemy because of information he withheld from the agency. So what does he get? Paid leave? A demerit of some kind?
Nope! A sweet mouth patch!
Oh OK, Hannibal mask it is then.
By the third film, you'd think that after Hunt had saved the world twice in the past they would perhaps listen to what he has to say instead of instantly gagging him and assuming he's turned bad, but then again we're talking about an agency that has had a different boss for every damn film.
The newest is played by Metallica.
So after all that, he's learned absolutely nothing. It would be one thing if Ethan Hunt was like James Bond, who has absolutely no passion outside of his work and therefore would pursue adventure after adventure -- but we've seen just the opposite from him up to this point. He's even married and completely in love in MI:3 -- why wouldn't he just quit or work for literally any company that won't repeatedly disavow him and consistently hire traitors? There are so many companies that hardly ever do either of those things, Ethan. NYPD. FBI. Sports Authority. So many, Ethan. What's it going to take to get you to realize that IMF is the crazy ex-girlfriend of jobs?
2Superman Is for Truth, Justice and the American Way! (When It's Convenient)
Well there is no moral -- he is the moral. He's a super ... man. This Metropolis Marvel is pretty much the poster boy for goodness, right? And not just any goodness -- Truth, Justice and the Mahfuckin' American Way! He ignores personal gain; the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, and all that.
It's really the whole point of Superman -- he's there to show us that you can be both powerful and good, unlike Lex Luthor, who has let what power he has corrupt him into a search for personal gain. Superman is selfless, the son of a powerful father who was brought onto this Earth to show human beings their potential for love and kindness.
And to build wicked snow forts.
Well, he lies ... he lets criminals get away ... he's not helping the country at all. Seriously, how is that not evident?
OK, these are big accusations -- so let's take them one by one.
So he is for truth, huh? Like, truth as in not lying, right? So who is this guy then?
Spoiler: The guy in the middle is actually Superman.
That would be Clark Kent, the normal guy that Superman lies about being every day of his life. OK, it's a little nitpicky -- after all, he has to protect himself and his loved ones and all that, right? However, since he can't tell people he's Superman, he must at least level the playing field and refrain from abusing his powers while in Clark Kent mode. You wouldn't play poker with the guy you knew could see through shit, so surely if Superman isn't going to fess, he has to make sure not to abuse his anonymity ... right?
Wait, wouldn't his X-ray vision just show him bones? We admit, we don't know how X-rays work.
See, that's when things get a little ... well, scumbaggy. It would be one thing if he used his powers every now and then to stop a vase from falling or something like that, but he uses his powers ALL THE FUCKING TIME as Clark. He abuses the fuck out of his powers, and not just for your everyday looking at tits, either; he does it to literally stalk Lois Lane. In the first film, he actually looks through Lois' purse using his X-ray vision. She calls him on it and he says he made a lucky guess like the liar that he is. He watches her in elevators and listens in on her conversations in the newest film. It's fucked.
Oh, and check him out floating over her house watching her family have supper, the dream of every ambitious stalker everywhere:
Nothing says "I love you" like rape eyes through a locked window.
So, truth aside ... what else are we left with? Justice, right?
This seems like a no-brainer. Superman catches the bad guys and puts them in jail. Justice is served!
But here's the thing -- as revealed in the last film, Lex Luthor gets out of prison not by escaping ... no, he gets out of jail because Superman isn't so great at the little things, like "Miranda rights," "due process" and "making your court date." Yeah, turns out you just can't fly up to a jail and toss a bad guy in like he does to Lex in the first movie. And from the sounds of it, Superman does none of that. In fact, he isn't really legally allowed to arrest anyone, is he? In the eyes of the law he must just be a vigilante, so anyone who gets caught by him can easily wiggle their way out, which makes you wonder if anyone actually goes to jail because of Superman.
"Sorry, Mr. Luthor. Enjoy your lawsuit settlement."