How to Really Solve The Problem of Teen Pregnancy [COMIC]
Basic Instructions is a twice weekly updating web comic that offers absurd advice on how to live your life. Some of those updates will be happening here on Cracked.
Previously Scott has taught us How To Ruin Your Childhood Memories and How to Tell a Scary Story.
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Here's an idea, maybe they just shouldn't be such stupid little whores?
ReplyThe ad at the bottom of my page was for Teen Mom. Coincidence?
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesNo.
mine was for baby strollers
Mine was for cloud storage....however that relates to this.
This is what happens to me every time I try to have a conversation with someone about a social issue. I find its rarely worth it.
ReplyIf a girl has sex without being on the pill, using a condom or any of the various and widely avaiable birth control products around, and then doesn't take the morning after pill its pretty much a sign that she wanted to get pregnant, or she is just too stupid to live.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesI love how pregnancies are always the girl's fault. A guy that has sex without a condom and doesn't ask if the girl is on the pill bears just as much responsibility.
the morning after pill is evil.
Yeah! The guy is in the situation too, 100%! Equality, damn it!
Or that the only thing the adults ever told her about was abstinence.
Not all teenage mother are sluts; I know more girls that went to HS with me that got knocked up at that time, and are still married to their first baby daddy than grown up friends (friends who had their first child after the age of 20). Plus my mother had me and my two brothers at a very young age...with my dad (whose a horndog, but had the brains to use condoms when he cheated/cheats).
Reply Hide All See All 5 Replies... I don't know anybody in my High School who got knocked up.
Neither did I. But then again, I didn't go to high school in America.
Oh, sure you do. Unless you were home-schooled and had very few friends, statistically speaking, you knew someone that got knocked up. But people are very good at hiding it. Abortion and adoption records are kept secret for a reason.
And it's not an American phenomenon. Oh, no sir.
My school has a daycare in it...
Nobody in my highschool got pregnant, but each and every one of them had a penis.
best way to prevent teen pregnancies is to have mandatory surgeries to ensure that kids cant make babies when they hit puberty and then when they decide that they want to have a kid they can go back and get their tubes untied or something. all this can be paid for by people with way too many kids, octo-mom can sell her kids off to a sweatshop to pay their own damn taxes instead of sponging off the rest of the taxpayers
Reply Hide All See All 5 Replieso.O
Nobody is going anywhere near my junk with a scalpel unless it's a life saving procedure.
You're retarded.
That's not going to happen. Ever.
Ron Paul, is that you?
If some people didn't want teenage girls to look at pregnancy and babies like some cool accessory, then they should stop trying to make baby dolls so effing realistic. It just means that little girls are going to think a real baby is the same as a baby doll, that it'll be just as effing easy to take care of, and that they can discard the baby whenever they get tired of it or want a new one. They make playing house and taking care of baby dolls look like fun when we're kids, and then expect us to take it serious when we hit a certain age.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesIf girls werent allowed to play with girl toys wouldn't that just mean there would be a hell of a lot of babies dressed up as GI Joe? I'm not saying this wouldn't be awesome!
mother fugging this. baby dolls should cry and not have a means of removing the battery. and the battery should last at least 5 years.
>Implying teenagers are automatically morons.
Implying we're not?
where the F@^& is page two
ReplyOver there.
Those damn baby dolls.. they eat, they drink, they poop, they even get sick.
ReplyGreat news everyone! I just saved a ton of money on my child support payments by switching to condoms!!
ReplyxD Nice!
Posting perfection: you have achived it.
haha, it is nice, can I post this artical to my own blog on POZ-Dating[.]Com ? I have many poz friends there, I believe they will love this.
ReplyI always ask this kind of questions, but no respones here, who can tell me whether I can share this with my POZ friends on POZ-Dating[.]Com ?
No, you cannot has cheeseburger! Ya fatty!
I want to believe this is a genuine spambot advertising a cool site to get AIDS.
guys could go on the pill too... not just girls
ReplyI was genuinely unaware of that. But, it sounds irreversible.
Well that is a good idea except for one thing, they don't have am efficient "birth control" pill for men. The one they do have can cause enough irreversible damage that getting a vasectomy would just be easier not to mention that a young man just might want to be able to have kids in the future. It's also linked to higher cancer rates in the men who take it, which Is bad. Look at it this way, a woman's hormones cycle along with their period and have a different hormone balance when there pregnant than when they do normally. That's why a female conraceptive pill is efficient because it balances the hormone levels. With men however, you don't have that.
Have a real solution:
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesCoat hanger.
That or have Mike Tyson punch your preggo girlfriend in the belly! One hit and it's out and your shoes are ruined.
Metal or plastic?
Tofukilla, preggo.. Really? That's a f**king sauce. -.-
@tofukilla I believe Mike Tyson is made of solid Fistium.
Christmas Festival gift . To your friends,
Replya pleasant surprise . Reputation , quality, absolute guarantee .
The same style, not the same, the quality with the price . please log in: " fashionsb "com .
so what, move your mouse Our services: "customer is God."
Pregnancy!!!
That might work. Lol.
ReplyIm a 16 year old girl and I have a 10 month old brother. I can only watch him for about 20 minutes at a time before I need a nap. Just rent babies to teenage couples and they will never touch each other again.
Reply Hide All See All 4 Repliesthats what the pills for lol, ill keep touching.
That's actually an awesome idea :-) "Accidents" might even happen and there'd be less of these f**king annoying waterworks.
sdfghj
I predict good things in your future (if you get into the baby-renting business)
Again, missing the crux of the problem:
Reply Hide All See All 20 RepliesGirls LIKE babies. Teen girls like babies as much as teen boys like sex. Trying to convince them that babies are horrible little creatures makes as much sense as trying to convince boys that sex isn't really much fun at all. Sadly, this seems to be the preferred technique of educators, so you're not too far off.
Sorry, but who are the girls you're talking about? I have yet to see a teenage girl who confronted with a real, smelly, noisy and somewhat moist baby, hasn't handed it back with a shudder.
Really? You've NEVER seen a teen girl who likes to babysit? Who coos at adorable tiny babies decked out in little pink dresses? How many teenage girls have you known?
Giggity.
Babies are fun, kids are another story. Other people's kids anyway.
Babies are cute, kids ruin everything, teenagers age their parents, and adults start it all! Stop the f**king!
My teacher in high school had a baby... there were tons of freshman that would take turns watching the baby during our after school program. Not the upperclassmen like me though.. she paid me to watch her baby twice though, and the baby slept the whole time, and I was happy. Those freshman though, they went crazy over that baby. Those are also the girls that you can't legally have sex with... for a reason! And people act like freshman and seniors should be able to have sex just because they are peers. I support statutory rape laws for a damn good reason.
Molly, you're a sexist idiot.
Deis, Women are more attracted to babies, It's just true, Women get horny when they see a woman breast feeding because it makes the mating hormone go crazy, It's just true, Women should be in the kitchen and stop their whining about equal rights but know nothing about their own sex, It's just true.
@disturbedpixie - cool story, bro.
"You're a sexist idiot"
Um, mentioning the overly obvious fact that females like babies is sexist? Take an evolutionary biology class instead of feminist studies this year and then get back to me.
Aww, CMDR is being misogynist on the internet! How EDGY!
Molly: I went to high school with quite a few teenaged girls and I never knew a single one who "liked" babies so much after having encountered one that they wanted to get knocked up. I thiiiink you might be overstating just a touch.
I'm a teenage girl and I f**king hate babies... I don't coo over them and I sure as hell don't want one. I just proved your argument wrong.
@jenela, cool story bro
On topic, making a generic statement 'girls like babies' is fallacious, you'll always find some girls who don't and so on.
That being said, maternal instincts don't make Molly sexist at all.
Girls like babies? What am I, a guy?
Uh, babies are nothing more than shit-filled alarm clocks that you have to buy food for. Also, I would like to be the first to personally take offence to the other point that seems to have been ignored here: Molly essentially calls all teenage boys sexually needy and promiscuous. In the interest of avoiding stereotypes, its isn't f*****g true.
IzzyVulpixDavis already said what i was going to say.
When I was 16 an (older) friend asked me to hold her baby, and a bunch of hormones kicked in all at once - to my embarrassment, I actually started crying. It was then I decided "yeah, maybe I do want to have kids after all" but that didn't mean I went out and tried to get pregnant, I just stored it away as something I wanted to do in the future.
Sure, many girls want to have kids, but most of them--even the ones who get pregnant--are not actively trying to have kids. Some of them are, obviously, but most of them were either too drunk to think about birth control or too embarrassed/afraid to ask the guy to use a condom.
I effing hate children. And as far as I know, I'm a fine young lady. But screw kids.
Whoa, slow down there, hoss. Stop dividing your argument by gender; I know plenty of teen girls who never want to have sex, and I know plenty of boys who don't really care about sex. Is adding a little diversity that hard?
Just make a Basic Instructions strip about sex and show it to teens: The will be so bummed out and/or bored that they drop the whole subject for good.
ReplySometimes, I get the impression these comics are just a series of stock images; but then I just laugh it off.
ReplyI WOULD say that it should be perfectly legal for a father to beat the s**t out of a boy he finds out is railing his daughter, but since a large percentage of the population have either s**t parents or no clue who their father actually IS, it'd be moot.
Reply Hide All See All 6 RepliesWhat a s**thead thing to say. Have you ever wanted to have sex with anyone? If so, that's a hypocritical thing to say, and either way it's bulls**t.
This totally would work because no girl anywhere has ever initiated sex.
How about he just beats the s**t out of his daughter instead? That would make about as much sense, because she's obviously his property and he has the right to choose who she has sex with. Too bad there are all these s**t parents around who won't try to interfere with their teenagers' sex lives or resort to violence.
You laugh, JimmyJohnson1, but there are whole cultures that a) agree with your hyperbole and b) want to see us and our culture wiped from the planet. Someday we may all attend stonings as though they were UFC events.
@JymnEcrct f**king weak, Chud...
Jymn is absolutely right. You know who's REALLY to blame for pregnancy? That's right, the TERRORISTS.