5 Widely Believed Dating Myths (Science Says Aren't True)
There are some universally acknowledged truths when it comes to dating. These themes are repeated on sitcoms, in romantic comedies and in your buddy Paul's hookup stories that he totally swears are true, bro.
And, according to science, most of it is wrong. That's right; somehow, you know even less about romance than you thought you did.
#5.
Gamers Are Lonely Virgins
What We Thought:
We have previously pointed out how the "nerdy gamer who has never touched a boob" stereotype persists in movies and TV right up to this very minute. When most people think of gamers, they're likely to picture a very thin or very fat loner whose romantic resume consists of a few steamy Xbox Live chats (and that one time he got flashed on ChatRoulette).
But Science Says...
Sorry, non-gamers, but those WoW nerds probably have a more active love life than you do. The 2008 study we linked there found that gamers were twice as likely as their non-gaming counterparts to go out on dates in a given month.
Admittedly, this is considered less about video gamers suddenly becoming suave ladies' men and more about the way the growing gaming market is swallowing up people of all types. That includes millions of attractive ladies, guys.
Also, don't forget the rise in multiplayer games. You've got party games like Guitar Hero and Rock Band that are great ice-breakers (have you ever tried coming up behind her and offering to help her play the song, then letting your hand "accidentally" fall onto her boob? Don't do that.). Then of course you have all the people who have actually met in online games like World of Warcraft, some of whom have gotten married.
Add it all up, and you arrive at the indisputable scientific conclusion that video games are an ass magnet.
#4.
Online Dating is a Last Resort for Losers
What We Thought:
You can't blame us here at Cracked for having a negative view of online dating, considering how many sites apparently have to rely on spamming our comment section to get the word out.
Sure, dating sites no longer carry quite as much stigma as they once did; plenty of couples now freely admit that they met online (and not just those annoying couples in the eHarmony commercials). Yet, you still see them mocked across pop culture as the last chance for the desperate, smelly and altogether irksome who can't survive real-life encounters.
The stereotypical online date is usually a wacky horror story--the guy who was seven inches shorter and 60 pounds heavier than he claimed to be, the woman who looked nothing like her picture and confessed that she was married and also a dude. And of course the serial killers are also a problem.
"Your picture made you look way taller."
But Science Says...
Studies show that one in five dating site users goes on to marry someone they meet online, and 94 percent of couples who develop a relationship online will make it to at least the second date. Those numbers blow away what you get meeting people the old fashioned way.
"Favorite hobbies include: adjusting the speed on this treadmill with the boner you just gave me."
Why? One reason is people seem to be more open and honest online. It's counter-intuitive, since the stereotype is that every hot girl is really a 40-year-old man, and the Internet in general seems to be made up of people playing characters behind anime avatars. How could that possibly compete with the honest, soul baring that takes place on any given night at a singles bar?
"I love Bon Jovi too! And so does this boner you just gave me."
But what they're finding is that in the world of online dating, that layer of anonymity makes people more willing to confide in each other without feeling like fools. Think about it. You'd probably never confide in some random chick at a bar that your tough exterior is just an act and that you've been emotionally wounded ever since you watched your pet Turtle, Fluffy, get hit by a car when you were eight. Yet, people don't hesitate to say that stuff in their blogs. Especially for guys, the physical separation seems to just make it easier to open up.
Online dating is also a self-sustaining thing; more people than ever are using these sites, so the pool of online daters has expanded from hardcore computer nerds, escorts and the truly undatable to a wide range of people. It's gotten to the point that at least some of them are certain to share your weird-ass set of interests.
#3.
Women Get All Emotional About Relationships, Men Stay Cool and Logical
What We Thought:
How many movies have you seen where the hysterical woman is bursting into tears over something her man has said, while the calm, collected guy is patiently trying to get her to calm down? While astride a chopper?
Even in "chick flicks," it's the same deal. You could call this the Sex and the City syndrome. Carrie Bradshaw and crew spend every waking moment dissecting their relationships. Whether they're at a fashion show, brunch, or riding camels in the desert, they let us know through dialogue or emotional voiced over monologues that they have men on their minds.
Meanwhile, the happily oblivious men of the show stomp on the ladies' hearts and then suavely return to pick up the pieces and wipe away their tears.
But Science Says...
A study of data collected from over a thousand unmarried young adults showed that men are actually more emotionally affected by relationship drama than women. They just don't show it. They're more likely to put on a brave face than post passive-aggressive Facebook statuses or complain about their significant other to their buddies. Meanwhile, they probably cry into their pillows at night after an argument with their girlfriend.
Researchers think it might be because girls generally have more close bonds with friends and family than men, so going through a rough spot with the boyfriend doesn't cut off their only outlet for emotional support. Guys, on the other hand, tend to confide only in their significant other. Emotionally, that means they have more at stake if things turn cold in the relationship.
So it is actually the ability to gossip with a tight-knit group of girlfriends that lets girls keep things on an even keel. So maybe we owe Sex and the City an apology.
Or maybe not.
I have to call B.S. on the cohabitation thing. One reason pre-marital cohabitating couples are more likely to divorce is that they're more likely to have progressive/casual attitudes towards sex and relationships in general. The couple that doesn't cohabitate prior to marriage is likely to be part of the "save yourself for marriage" crowd, who have strong conditioning to think that marriage is a holy commitment that should not be violated by divorce. Cohabitating couples, on the other hand, are likely to view relationships more casually, and hence be more comfortable with the concept of divorce, which is "a complicated breakup" in the eyes of cohabiters but sacrilege in the eyes of the very religious.
ReplyIf I somehow woke up with that suspendered thing lurching at me I swear I'd immediately start driving her out the door... sorry I'd f**k her quick then drive her out the door in a fit of disgust and shame deep deep shame.
ReplyActually, a lot of the people who live together before marriage are younger, and less religious, which is a huge aspect of marriage. Religious people are often shamed into staying married even if it isn't working, and younger people are nowhere near as ready for the commitment as they think they are (seriously, don't get married under the age of 20, and try to wait till 25-30).
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesI get your point, but there is more you know. Religion maybe the reason why a couple is still married even though they know it's not working, but religion also act as the safety brake that keep people from getting a divorce every time they get into a fight. And even more, because of these reason, people with religion will have a lot more consideration before going into a marriage, because there is no take back, and this is the reason i think why more religious people can stay married than non religious. Mind you, i am a practical atheist, and i don't like it when people who don't understand religion undermine those who practice them.
Religion should not be relied upon to be that brake that stops people from getting a divorce every time in a fight; we need other such brakes. @ Hexxus
Hexxus (awesome screen name, btw), "people with religion will have a lot more consideration before going into a marriage" is a myth. The "wait until marriage" chastity crowd are far more likely to rush into marriage and marry young and early on in a relationship, precisely because they can't wait to hop into bed with one another. In Utah, I'd be considered an old maid because I'm 24 and not yet married.
My boyfriend is an all-round complete nerd. He loves physics and science, he's a gamer and atm is obsessed with Skyrim (as most gamers would be right now), he knows almost EVERYTHING about Warhammer, he dresses up in medieval clothes and does sword fighting... the list is endless.
ReplyBut he is f*****g GORGEOUS and the best type of guy there is!
Gotta agree with this. Mine's the same way. Occasionally we do D&D or SW tabletop, and it ends in sex between our characters, because, well, no one else is there. And then it moves on to actual sex, because that's the logical next step.
We both have the feats "blind fight", "quick draw" and "improve initiative".
On point with number one, I recently had to console my roommate who was freaking out that his girlfriend was going to break up with him. The main selling point was that she was living in our room, which means she'd have to either stay in the relationship or move out.
ReplyIt worked at calming him down and the relationship is still going..."strong", but I can't help but feel that it actually helps prove that point. As mean as it sounds, a lot of what determines the validity of a relationship is how inconvenient it is to have to end it, which can include a mutual living arrangement.
I am an outright feminist and my man knows it and why sex is said to be better because a feminist wants pleasure for herself and will get it...and that means more action in bed so she gets pleasure from a man...and that is fun for the men too he's getting more wild sex. lol.
ReplyAt the risk of sounding like a dick, you sound like you'd make for some very unpleasant conversation at parties...
HA! Best thing I've read in the last 20 minutes.
how about a correlation for #1: that people whose social norms are more supportive of cohabitation are also likely to be more supportive of divorce? Not that this is the explanation 100% of the time, but I'd say there's a pretty strong relationship there.
ReplyThis is exactly what I was thinking as I read it.
"That's right: A whole lot of married couples out there are only together because one of them was too lazy to round up some friends to help them move that heavy-ass sofa and La-Z-Boy."
Bull. You're telling me that people are so lazy they don't want to break up after moving in together, so they get married... and then later end up getting divorced, which is like 10x more of a hassle?
If anything people who are too lazy to break up and instead get married would be LESS likely to get divorced, not more.
The point was they're more likely to get married despite early warning signs... And early warning signs can quickly turn into unresolvable issues.
I met my gamer boyfriend online, sweetest man I've ever known. Only downside is that we currently live about 100 miles apart.
ReplyAs a feminist, I can say from experience that feminism does not kill romance. :D
Reply'Feminists' tend to be better lovers because they are more confident. It takes a lot of confidence to keep on keepin on in a society that tries to tell them to act different (i.e. meek and submissive). Not that all sex is BDSM material, but if you are looking for an equal that is more likely to challenge and stimulate you, look no further than a confident woman.
ReplyI'm a gamer. I've never been lonely, and I sure as hell ain't no virgin. XD
ReplyI imagine male MLP fans aren't in short supply.
Oh god, aren't you that one girl who plays NEStalgia too? Nobody cares that you're a gamer and a woman. Shh.
I met a girl I really liked online, on youtube. But she lives far away. :((((((((
Reply#4- But cracked also says that people are more likely to lie in emails.. so how does that match up with saying that we're more open and honest online?
ReplyMaby more honest when seeking for a partner only?
Point #1 is INACCURATE! Multiple studies have shown that the original study (the one referenced here) had results that could not be repeated in other studies- meaning- it was a FABRICATED AND INACCURATE STUDY!
ReplyI agree with the last point... that a lot of couples stay together out of "inertia." It just takes too much energy to move your a** and leave.
ReplySorry, but most gamers are lonely virgins... I mean really, what hot, sassy, sexy chick is going to be like "tell me more about your lvl 60 dwarf Paladin!" while you sit there with piss poor hygiene and/or an out of shape body? Let alone getting outside in the first place to meet someone one else. Sorry, but most women want a manly man who builds cars and buildings, has hard bodies, and can bring home a dozen red roses every once in a while along with a surprise dinner at the local Red Lobster/Olive Garden. Millions of years of women going for the manly man won't all of a sudden be changed by 1-2 decades of gamers.
Reply Hide All See All 8 RepliesSorry, bromethius, but science says otherwise, and if millions of tribesmen slaughtered around the world by boomsticks can tell you anything, it's that you don't f**k with science.
Someones butt-hurt about the lvl 60 Dwarf-Paladin.
Millions of women going for the menly men stopped when we started realizing that roughly 80% of the menley men are raging asshats and that we were tired of raising grunting (but athletic) ape-babies.
You sir are full of fail, sounds like a gamer got what you couldn't.
What you just described is a 100% mainstream Hollywood gamer just left out the part about living in his mothers basement.
BTW red lobster and Olive garden are not good places for a date.
From Lvl 85 horde pally with a 2006 GTO happily married since 2007 to a beautiful woman who I met in warcraft.
every man ive ever met that was interesting and good to me i met playing video games ... 3 of which were on wow *sadly i dont play that game anymore and it has gotten harder meeting quality dates lmao*
Nobody said they're banging car models (though I'm sure some are).
Bock, not only am I a huge gamer geek but I make a living working in the games industry. Do I look like a socially inept loser? Am I some hideous geekoid beast?
I love hearing about my boyfriend's lvl 82 shaman, and people tell me all the time that I'm "hot".
I'm also a gamer myself.
I'm not lonely or a virgin, I don't have bad hygiene, and I'm not out of shape. I like to go out and I'm pretty sure it's a good thing I'm not a "manly man". I have no interest in cars other than that I drive one, and no interest in buildings other than that I live in one (and that was a weird point anyways). A guy bought me roses once and I got mad at him (because he was a idiot), and I'd rather have a nice meal at home then go blow my money at a restaurant.
So you can go do all the steroids you want and cover yourself in motor oil and see how many "chicks" you get, because I'm pretty sure a million years ago we were cavemen.
So helping out a woman you find attractive is a bad thing? And being previously homeless is somehow relevant to all of this?
ReplyYou seem to fail to acknowledge the difference between being a nice person to everybody and treating women like children.
Somehow I now think you replied to a message below and that context changed the whole meaning of what you wrote. I sincerely apologise for the misunderstandment.
As a woman, I just want to point out that gamer talk gives me a lady boner. Talking all heatedly and expertly about WoW will probably make you attractive me. This is some weird turn-on that I share with only like 15% of the female populus, but, I just thought I should let all you gamers know.
Reply Hide All See All 7 RepliesAlso, same thing with comic books, but multiply the effect by 10.
so are you like, trying to pick up dudes in a comedy site? good luck to ya, mam
Will you marry me (then move in)?
As a woman, I just want to point out that no one gives a shit.
I agree with you. Sometimes I try to get my boyfriend to play some video games I like (RPG's like The Elder Scrolls series and Mass Effect) because, well... I'd just love it if he did.
I'm a girl, and I love geeky stuff, and I wish my boyfriend was geekier all the time. Reverse of the norm, I guess.
As a woman, I apologize for people like Megtroid, that is, if she really is a woman.
As a man, megtroid has awesome boobage, but looks to have vampire teeth.
Actually it's more in the 40 + percentage that women are gamers. Most don't find it a turn on but a hobby.
I ask for the second time today: Is there any chance I can throw out the word "heteronormative" on this one without being called a stupid obnoxious bitch?
ReplyIt's not that it offends or angers me. If it did I couldn't even walk to the grocery or flick past the Disney channel without getting a rage-boner (which I don't.) It just renders this article meaningless and incomprehensible. It's more a composition issue than a political one.
Look mam/sir, you really do seem to be unable to grasp the simple concept that this is a satirical site. Also, this article in no way tried to present itself as a political one. As for your comment, Hetero is the norm currently. A majority of myths are still based on it. I'm not being biased, I'm stating the facts culled from raw data. Quit being such a pessimist and take into consideration the intended meaning of the article you're reading on a satirical comedy site. Cheers.
I like Cracked, I really do, quite a bit in fact, enough that I read their new articles every single day at 815am. But I AM a little tired of the complete over-generalizations that all of these "love and romance" articles seem to revolve around... Sure, stereotypes exist because they are based on reality, but they are an EXAGGERATED reality...
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesEvery person is an individual, in some way or another, and some people in many more ways than others. That individuality is what makes dating/romance/love/etc so enthralling, as you search for that soul mate who completely balances you and vice-versa, in the end making each other better people. A real relationship is a case of 1+1=3, where the exact qualities that make it great cannot necessarily be "pinned down", but "it just works".
I guess my point is that while entertaining, these are a bunch of stereotypes that persist and permeate our culture to such a degree that they may end up actually affecting individual relationships... And when that happens, people are going to start feeling less like themselves, and more like a character in some horrible rom-com.
Be who you are, and eventually someone will find you attractive, some sooner than later, but the odds are in everyone's favor! You'll know if it's a "just for fun"-thing or a "serious"-thing, but either way, learn as you go, allow yourself to make mistakes, remember that ALL experience is good experience, even if at the time it doesn't feel like it, and ENJOY THE RIDE!
(PS: Online Dating, I've seen it work quite well, and I've seen it crash and burn so spectacularly that it could probably be seen from space... But whether it's behind a screen and keyboard, or holding your tenth draft beer at a college bar, dating has always required a certain degree of "anonymity". The comparison can go further, such as "beer goggles v suspicious picture", lies/exaggerations told while drunk v lies/exaggerations in a dating profile... get the point?)
I was going to say something stupid, but you make a good point. I've long been saying that people these days are examples of life imitating art imitating life (people living up to reality TV or media-driven stereotypes that simply don't exist). Bizarre stuff, huh?
blah blah blah
@Pagan It's kind of lazy trolling when you respond pretty much the same way to several comments on the same page.
8:15 eh? Is that when you take your morning dump? Was it a particularly difficult one in this case?
Social interaction consists primarily of acting out internalized cultural narratives. Saying "don't base your social interactions on stereotypes" is kind of absurd. Love is a social construct. So is friendship. These concepts do not have intrinsic meaning free of social context.
When we enter a relationship with another person, we are stepping onto a stage to play a role. It has many social components. It may have some biological components. The one thing it doesn't have is "authenticity", because there is no such thing.