5 Innovative Ways Hollywood Is Screwing You Over
Ah, Hollywood. Where the magic happens.
And by "magic," we usually mean overpriced crap homogenized to death by market studies. It turns out the dream factory that is the film industry is a business after all, and one with the kind of greed that puts Microsoft to shame.
Here are five of the new, innovative ways that they're screwing us over.
#5.
Double-Dipping DVDs
There are sometimes genuinely good reasons to issue a special edition DVD. The technology has improved, so there's no question DVDs released today often have image quality that was almost unthinkable when the format first appeared. So we're always happy for a cleaned-up edition, especially if the original was released back in the early days of the format when you considered it a special feature if you got a plastic DVD case instead of a cardboard one.
More often than not, though, studios will rerelease for any goddamn thing, often tacking on just enough "extras" to give them an excuse to slap on a new cover with a gold or silver bar at the top. A prime offender is Sony Home Video, which apparently can't be bothered to rerelease classic films like The Shop Around the Corner or His Girl Friday but are more than happy to crap out four different editions of Resident Evil.
This movie has been released on DVD more times than Citizen Kane.
Better Get Used to it...
As the profits continue to shift from theatrical to the home market, studios will keep finding reasons to do this. It doesn't help that we keep buying them, apparently on the wistful hope that a new picture on the cover will somehow make Resident Evil something other than terrible.
Just to rub it in our faces, a Miramax exec admitted they intentionally put out separate DVDs for each of the two Kill Bill volumes, saying:
Multiple bites. That Resident Evil "apple" must be a freakin' core by now.
#4.
Ads in Front of Movies
Television has had a long-standing unspoken agreement with the viewer: It shows you programs you like, and you in return ignore the ads that interrupt your enjoyment to go to the bathroom, flip around or--these days--fast-forward through them.
Advertisers have never been happy with that "ignore" part of the equation, and one day some enterprising ad executive looked at movie theater, saw how all of the viewers are basically forced to watch whatever comes on the screen with no option to change the channel, and came up with a truly evil idea.
"They're like a bunch of prisoners..."
They'd take the same ads you found too annoying to watch on TV, and project them in the theater! No changing the channel or fast-forwarding, and you often can't get up without fear of losing your seat. This would be the same seat you paid ten bucks for.
Theater chains were happy to take the money, figuring a little annoyance of their loyal customers was more than worth it to add another revenue stream.
Better Get Used to it...
And what a revenue stream it is. They've now got about 400 million reasons a year to keep running the ads, and that number is growing fast. Some markets have fifteen minutes worth of ads before the trailers (which are, you know, more ads).
The biggest chains (Regal Cinemas, Cinemark and AMC) have actually teamed up to form National CineMedia to maximize the sweet, sweet ad revenue. The only thing left is to stop the movie half way through so they can run more ads.
Now, in case you thought we were trying to make the theaters out to be the bad guys in this situation, one reason they got on board with this was due to...
#3.
Hollywood Squeezing Theaters for Every Dime
Hollywood has the major theater chains over a barrel, and they've been going all Deliverance on them for about two decades now. Pretty much every single thing you hate about the movie-going experience that doesn't involve some jerk on his cell phone can be attributed to this prison-bitch relationship dynamic.
This is why popcorn is like seven bucks a box. Yes ticket prices are ridiculous, but the movie theaters have to forward most of that money on to the studios.
A typical Hollywood executive.
The way it works is the studios have front-loaded deals, so that for the first weekend, up to 75% of box office has to be paid to the studio (Star Wars: Episode I infamously demanded 90% up front). Then each weekend thereafter it drops 10% (meaning the theater gets to keep more of the money as the movie plays).
You see why it's a terrible deal when you realize movies make most of their money in the first couple of weeks. So the studio cashes in during that early period when fans are seeing it based on the awesome trailer, and then the theaters are left with the crumbs when word of mouth informs everyone it's a turdburger.
Better Get Used to it...
As DVD sales have risen, theater attendance has sunk like a rock. So they have to keep afloat somehow, and that means inflated concession prices, the aforementioned commercials and those stupid slides before the movie starts. (See chart)
And through all of that, the studios still have all of the power in the relationship. Their product (that is, the movies) is the only thing that gets people into theaters. The chains don't have much choice but to sign the deal and go scraping for revenue elsewhere. They get screwed, so the theaters have no one left to screw but you, the customer, forming one big daisy-chain of screwing.
Which is exactly the sort of thing you'll never see on screen, thanks to...
I used to buy DVD's then I found torrents. The way I see it, I pay £10 to go see a movie at the cinema (about 15-16 bucks I think) and I go a lot and don't earn that much money, so f**k them, they want to charge ridiculous prices so the people at the top can drive the nicest cars and live in giant houses, fine good luck to them, but I'm not adding to their vast wealth more than I have to.
ReplyI'm 19 now. When I was young, they kept raising the price of movie tickets slowly but steadily. No big deal; inflation happens.
ReplyThen I read about the RIAA suing ordinary people, even grandmothers something like $6,000 for every song they illegally downloaded. Got pissed.
I rented a DVD at Redbox for my little sister and I to watch. When I read the disk, I saw that this was a rental edition, so I wouldn't even get to see all the extras. I was pissed again.
I read about the RIAA saying that it should be illegal to rip CDs you already own, thus making it necessary to buy something multiple times. Facepalmed.
And why do I have unskippable commercials in home videos that I already f*****g paid for?
So for the past 3 months, I've torrented everything I can. To quote the author of this piece, "Eat s**t, Hollywood." You want me, and millions like me, to stop? Well, play fair and we will too. But if you keep f*****g up, we'll just keep on pirating. You try to go Deliverance on us, we'll lash back at you with 10 times the force. Look at history: the pirates always win. You will always lose. Unless you follow a free market system that gives others a chance, then get ready to be fucked up the ass, hard.
P.S. Look at Iron Maiden's Number of the Beast album. The big guy? That's us. The devil he's controlling? That's Hollywood. The smallest puppet that the Devil is controlling? You decide...
I am completely confused about the american system of film ratings.. What's NC-17 and what's R? In Ireland (Europe?) I'm used to U, PG, 12s, 15s and 18s. Much simpler :P
ReplyNC-17 means no one under 17 can see it. R means no one under 17 can see it without a parent. NC-17 is basically a death sentence for any movie.
If they start charging that much for movies, I will just stop watching. The most recent movie that I've really loved is Akira and that was made in what, 1989? I'll just read books and play video games. There really isn't anything I want to see that badly.
ReplyIn Iceland, they really DO stop the movie in the middle to show you more ads and sell you more popcorn. I wish I were joking.
ReplyThat actually seems useful. If you run out of popcorn or soda or whatever and want a new refill or you need to use the restroom, you don't have to worry about missing anything.
Concerning #2 and appeals, I'm pretty sure it's an easy process. A couple of the Saw movies (off the top of my head, Saw III) were rated NC-17 and had to be re-edited and re-submitted to attain an R rating.
ReplySaw III had to be re-edited and re-submitted SEVEN times to achieve an R rating. So obviously, besides the guess work of what to cut I think the actual "appeal" process is fairly easy.
The film's director, Darren Bousman mentioned in an interview that apparently these days the MPAA is more concerned with emotional torture the audience gets than the physical violence shown on screen due to shows like NCIS and Law & Order showing more graphic content on regular TV.
My Dad and Stepmom confiscated my R-rated movies from me... just because they were rated-R. I owned those movies, I've seen them, as have my peers. What the f**k were they afraid of?
ReplyMy Dad bought me Terminator 2 and Predator when I was 4 or 5 and we watched them together.. that's an irresponsible/awesome parent right there
BitTorrent isn't going to solve any problems. Everyone in that huge chain wants to make money, so if you aren't making them money then they want you gone. They aren't gonna try to convince you to pay for the product by making it better, they're gonna try to keep you from getting the product at all. If you want to protest high prices on something, you stop buying it. BitTorrent takes this one step further, where the 'protesting' involves flat out stealing the product if you don't like the prices. Now, if you are faced with choosing between people buying your products at a lower price or people stealing them, would you either lower the price or devise ways to keep the product from being stolen without actually altering the product or the price?
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesDo you see what I'm getting at? If companies see their sales start to drop because nobody is buying their shit, they will try to get the sales back by either increasing quality or lowering price. But, if companies see their sales start to drop because people are stealing their shit, they will assume that stopping the theft will increase profits again, as would any other person whose income relied on people buying s**t they made instead of stealing it.
Torrenting is not protest. It is stealing. Big difference there. Not that I'm saying that stealing isn't justified (it very much is when they try to get you to shell out cash for a top quality product only to be served shit) but it's still stealing. Stop trying to justify it by saying you are protesting something and just f*****g admit that you simply do not want to pay for something.
That's assuming they know why their profits are decreasing. They can't track whether something's being pirated or just not bought, can they?
tl ; dr, and from the basic gist, still dont give a fuck. human nature to steal from those with more. the whole robin hood is an exceptional metaphor for it. when we view something as unfair (read-successful) we deem that justice should be to take it back. and tbh I dont think we got much chance denying human nature until we become cyborgs, so hell, why not sit back and just enjoy being heathen, uncivilized bastards and not have any delusions about it, lol.
I'll admit it, I just dont want to pay for something. Hollywood still sucks a fat wad though.
Stealing is taking something from someone, making them unable to use what you took from them. Filesharing is making an identical copy for yourself to use. That is not the same and if you were not a brainwashed tool you would know it and use proper terminology.
Filesharing is considered, in some juridictions such as the USA, copyright infringment, which is not the same as stealing.
Bless Bram Cohen.
ReplyI used to love to go to romantic movies in hopes of some real "Action" (If you know what I mean)
ReplyNow I know the truth, and will not ever watch another romantic movie . . .
(In theaters)
my dad considers MPAA ratings up there with god and he's quite religious
Replyand if the bible is accurate, I bet gods' pretty pissed about that lol.
I was tempted to stop reading after the low blow to Resident Evil. It wasn't great, but it was entertaining. And plus, it had Milla Jovovich and zombies.
Replyyeh but giving us sloppy seconds, thirds and fourths of the same movie and then the same again for each sequel? A dick move for even a good movie. I dont mind it either tho. Milla is hot and zombies get brutally slaughtered. every testosterone fuelled being's dream. lol.
Telepathy and clones. Seriously?
glad you mentioned torrents...cos they are the only thing keeping me in the loop.
ReplyArticles like this make me smile every time I get a Red Box DVD for a buck and rip it to mp4 with my trusty Linux machine. :-D
Replyyou forgot to mention how every movie coming out is 3D when it's really not 3D
Reply....look at the date on the article....
notice the mpaa symbol looks like the death star?
ReplyExcept instead of firing hot laser death at Alderaan, they fire hot laser death at the best movies.
wait so they ban good movies coz of violence and such or a bit of a graphic sex scene, and they let the human centipede through? dafuq?
the record industry, whiny bitches that they've become, sealed their own fate as well when they charged us for LPs, then 8-tracks, then cassettes, then CDs, then mp3s, and finally mp4s. i've paid for some of my music 5 times....and they're complaining about limewire and aimini. f**k 'em. i hope the record industry dies soon so that artists can actually make money from their music.
Replyas for the film industry, there are way too many quality films coming from independents these days. production costs are low so their films look, in many cases, just as good as hollywood's. hollywood is going to have to learn to move over and let those independents play in the same sandbox. otherwise, they're going to find that they are the only ones in the sandbox and everyone else is having a great time at the neighbor kid's house 4-doors down in his in-ground pool.
when will these yahoos realize that the film industry competes not with other film studios, but with ESPN, and the sports industrial complex? make room for quality film making and you'll get your audience back...and they'll be willing to pay money to see your films. otherwise, given the choice between transformers 8 and the average run-of-the-mill NFL game, most people will watch the game.
I buy mp3's from Russia, then buy bling at artist websites. The artist actually gets something, and the RIAA gets bupkas.
true that without record labels we musicians would have full cut of profits. but we'd have full cut of the work too. record labels promote, organize gigs, tours etc, they plan marketing schemes, sell your merchandise. They're a neccesary evil, and if you want less promotion and more money from your hard work, you got indie labels like horris records, which focus more on the artist's talent than his marketing potential. ever heard of MC Lars? not as famous as lil wayne, but certainly got talent, and is big in the rap scene too. savvy?
BitTorrent solves many problems.
Replyand creates many more
Bless torrents and filesharing. If I'm expected to watch ads, I am NOT going to pay.
The pay-per-view system isn't all bad, at least not in its current version. I own dozens, perhaps hundreds of movies that I bought on DVD, watched once, and have no plans to watch again. I'd rather spend $3 for a rental than $20 for a disc that just takes up space. I do, however, see a problem with a market where "pay once, watch forever" doesn't exist at all, and I certainly wouldn't put it past the studios to push such a model or to jack up prices if/when they once again control the distribution channels.
ReplyWhen I was in high school, I worked at a United Artists theater when the company was bought by Regal, which, naturally, is about when we started seeing ads before movies in my region. The awful thing about it is that you're already paying to see the movie, which means, in effect, you're paying to see ads. And they're right about the royalties. It's a shame, but concessions is absolutely where the theaters pull in their revenue.
ReplyOn a slightly related note, I look forward to the day when most video entertainment is in the form of Hulu. I don't mind a 30 second commercial, periodically. I get it, people have to make their money. I just want to watch what I want to watch, when I want to watch it.