5 Ways Hollywood Tricks You Into Seeing Bad Movies
Movie studios rarely worry whether the film they're producing is "good" or "bad" or "technically pornography." There's only one driving motivation, and if you can't guess what it is, there's a good chance this is the first time you've heard of the economic system referred to as capitalism.
In the rare instance an inferior product does slip out of Hollywood, producers have plenty of tricks to convince you to see it anyway. Here are the five most shameless:
#5.
The Genre Bait & Switch
Sometimes, even movies with expensive stars and famous directors are hard to market. Maybe the film's plot can't be explained in eight words or less. Maybe it's a bit heavy on "themes" and "character development" and too light on the important things like "low-cut shirts" and "explosions."
Whatever the case, it's nothing a little creative trailer editing can't fix.
Jarhead
The Movie: A deliberately-paced meditation on boredom and isolation set during the Gulf War. Many have described it as "a war movie without the war," a phrase that ranks up there with "deliberately-paced" and "meditation on boredom" among "Phrases Producers Really Don't Want To Hear."
Lucky for producers, the trailer puts the damn war back.
The featured battles and shenanigans falsely promise a film somewhere between Saving Private Ryan and Police Academy 8: Drafted! Of course, it's all editing room smoke and mirrors. Even a shot of Jake Gyllenhall dodging enemy fire at 1:22 turns out, in the film, to be nothing more than stray fireworks.
Sweeney Todd
Some people like musicals. Some people like incredibly graphic horror films. However, as the bloody yet melodious Sweeney Todd neared completion, producers made a tragic discovery:
Some creative trailer editing should solve that ...
Another delightfully wacky Johnny Depp character? Accents? Boats? Why, it's Pirates of the Caribbean for the Hot Topic crowd!
Good Luck Chuck
In this 2007 film, lots of women want to sleep with Dane Cook for some contrived and difficult to explain reason. The original trailer goes to great lengths to convince you that Dane Cook should be allowed to star in movies.
Producers eventually realized that not only was co-star Jessica Alba an actual celebrity, she was pretty damn easy on the eyes, too. A new trailer was quickly cut:
Why, Dane Cook is barely in this film! And the only time we hear him is when he's uttering grunts of pain while being abused by an underwear-clad Jessica Alba! To the box office, my good man!
Bridesmaid was market as Comedy, but it turned out to be a Sad Drama over a Girl who is about to loose her best Friend relation trough Wedding. Dam I dare you to watch it.
ReplyYou should've mentioned the mockbuster "The Battle of Los Angeles" that Netflix has on its Instant Watch. For being a campy knockoff that my mom started playing (thinking that it was "Battle: Los Angeles"), it was actually better than the real thing.
ReplyI hate false advertising. When I went to see the roommmate, I thought it would be a horror movie. Not even close...
ReplyI thought this was supposed to be about horrible movies. Why is Jarhead, or Brokeback Mountain here?
ReplyThis has probably been mentioned, maybe not, I don't know but the biggest complaint I hear about Paranormal Activity 3 is that like 90% of the footage they showed in the trailer was not in the movie, which is fact. If that's not bait and switch I don't know what is. I am not even a moderate fan of the crappy PA franchise but as I see everything with a horror lable on it no matter how crappy I predict it will be, this was one of the first things I noticed walking out of the movie. I only saw it once but I can tell you every scene from the trailer that was not in the movie. This leaves me to wonder how such a stunt doesn't cause a lawsuit. And to be honest, I would be a much bigger fan of the movies if they actually would have included the footage they advertised, as it was creepy. So what was the point?
ReplyThere's a difference in that example and these. In PA3 the trailer footage would have completely spoiled the movie had it been left in. Instead, they chose to mimic scenes that were in the movie and alter them enough to retain both the recognition of the scene and the scariness of not knowing what's actually going to happen.
To be fair, "Jarhead" was incredibly accurate in its portrayal of modern war. Gone are the front lines and, for the most part, the action. Yes, war is still horrible and awful, but most of the people deployed simply do not see anything...most don't even leave the base. As a Marine, I found this portrayal to be very realistic. This makes sense considering it was a book written by a Marine about the Persian Gulf war.
ReplyThey forgot one:
Reply6#: Take an incredibly bad movie and slap a license on it.
Sometimes joined with 2, as anyone who's ever seen their favorite TV show/cartoon/video game etc. francise be turned into a god-awful movie can attest to, if a producer in Hollywood is making a really bad movie and they know it, they will buy permission for a license and change a few details in order to make it look vaguely like the license they're abusing. They do this because they know that the movie will sell a truckload with hardly any effort on their part and a fraction of the money, which is the reason they keep doing it.
TROLL 2!
Why do so many Cracked writers have a beef with Shia LeBeouf? And Transformers, for that matter. I loved the cartoons as a kid too, but come on, let's be honest with ourselves - those cartoons really sucked.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesSay what you will about Michael Bay but fellas, please, lay off of Even Stevens. Some of us grew up with that kid.
P.S. I've seen three variations of Sweeney Todd and Johnny Depp did the best job by far. But did anyone else hate that self-righteous little kid?
Barbershop serial killers are way cooler than boring little kids. Someone should have baked him into a pie.
Its funny 'cause f**k you.
You don't deserve to be a Transformers fan if you like Michael "Star-Splosion" Bay's version.
I'm with Mokey's on this one... considering the fact that the only reason tranformers as a cartoon or movie exists is because the toys weren't selling on their own... it's like saying the new burger king comercials are ruining your childhood memories because the old ones were better. The whole franchise is not based off a storyline it's based off the need to sell some toys. I love transformers but I'm not disillusioned about it, the whole thing has been a money grab from the very beginning, you can't fault Micheal Bay for continuing that theme by producing mindless blockbuster movies...
Get out.
How was Sweeney Todd a bait and switch? The story is 150+ years old. They've been making movie versions of the story for 80 years, and musical versions have been produced for over 30. I saw it, and I loved it. All I noticed about the trailer was Sweeney Todd with Johnny Depp and Alan Rickman, and I was in. If you didn't know going in what it was about, you deserved to be shocked! It was exactly what the title said it was.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesIf anyone was expecting a non-musical, they are idiots. In fact, I recall sitting in the theater watching it while listening to someone behind me say, "This is a musical?" No shit, Sherlock.
The trailer I saw involved both singing and throat-cutting. So, yeah. I think the marketing was pretty straightforward.
Agreed. How could anyone NOT know this was a musical?
I definitely saw ads that in no way showed it was a musical. I heard it was through word-of-mouth, but I could totally see people not knowing until they got there.
Way to go with misleading titles....
ReplyBridge to Terebithia. Worst bait and switch ever. Trailers made it look like a CGI fantasy film. Literally every frame of fantasy was in the trailer. The reality was a yawner about two kids coping with bullies, and one of them had a dumb as dirt nasty ignoramus for a father.
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesThat's a little harsh, isn't it? It was more about friendship, death, and the inevitable end of childhood. That said, I agree with you that the trailers were a despicable bait-and-switch scam.
Unfortunately, the movie you're bashing happens to be based on a classic children's book. And both are pretty awesome. So there.
Bridge to Terebithia was based on a children's novel. It was marketed TO PEOPLE WHO HAD READ THE BOOK, NOT LORD OF THE RINGS NERDS.
MrDerpe: Your entire statement is false by its own claim. If it weren't intended for "Lord of the Rings nerds" and people who'd never read the book, then why did it play up the fantasy aspect and downplay the actual subject matter of the movie? It wouldn't have been able to do that if it were aimed at people who read the book.
I think who they were trying to sell to were those that went and saw narnia. The tarabithia trailer gives the impression that they are crossing over into some magical kingdom, just like narnia, they don't let on it's all in their heads or how little of the film it actually makes up. Anyone who doesn't know the books is bound to be fooled.
Mazes and Monsters was freaking terrible! :3 Holy crap was it bad!
ReplyMazes and Monsters is a far out game!
The funny thing is the article´s own title is a bit of marketing mislead. Some of the movies portrayed aren´t really bad, they were just hard to market for one reason or another, so the studios pandered to those gimmicks. But I suppose it was harder to sell the article if it said "hard to market movies".
ReplyTarantino is ultimately guilty of #5 with Inglorious Basterds. He knew no one would go watch a movie featuring nothing but long stretches of dialogue with a little bit of action at the end. So he billed it as a Nazi era Kill Bill style flick. It worked on me, and it pisses me off to this day. Tarantino is a fuckstick.
Replynote to self-use the word "fuckstick"
Why do you think "Passion of the Christ" was released independently? No major studio would touch it. Why? Apart from whatever insider political warfare between Mel Gibson and whoever, it paints the Jewish religion in a less-than-favorable light (although it seems to be a historically accurate portrayal). Gibson probably pulled in a "favor", or somebody else was profiting somehow, for it to be featured on the cover of EW. By the way, it is an excellent movie, regardless of your beliefs. Even atheists can appreciate it, despite anything they will ever do being utterly meaningless and contradictory, as the end result of humanity is utter nothingness (according to their system).
Reply Hide All See All 15 RepliesWell that's a little biased misrepresentation of the way atheists see the world but,whatever.Passion of the Christ really was a decent movie.The devil was freaky as hell.
Aw, that's cute that you need a magical sky-daddy to give you meaning in life. Also, no I can't appreciate Passion of the Christ, because I don't feel like watching two hours of anti-Semitic torture porn.
Re: sky daddy
The difference between you and I is that I have properly contemplated an existence where the end result, regardless of your actions, is utter nothingness, and you have not. The stupidest deity imaginable is preferable to leading a meaningless existence. This is the most simple, basic, universal conclusion that exists, yet some choose to indulge in intellectual vanity as a means to cope with their feelings of worthlessness. To each his own. Your position is ridiculously contradictory and absurd.
Perhaps you should look up the word contradictory as you have provided no examples of how Ashdesert's opinion was. Unless of course you're referring to your own position of "any deity will do because I'm afraid"
The end result of humanity is different according to different people. Besides, even if the end result IS nothing, us humans can still make a mark on the universe, even when we're long gone. (And, I suppose, if.)
You can't go wrong with C'thulhu, people. Ia Ia C'thulhu fhtagn!
Indeed. I can appreciate The Passion of the Christ and I'm an atheist; there's no better place to watch Mel Gibson get the s**t kicked out of him :)
I cannot believe that there is an argument about religion on the internet.
You have no ode what you are talking about. Why not murder rape and pillage and commit the most insane atrocities? You simply cease to exist. What is the result of any action, according to atheist doctrines? Nothing at all. What good does it do for your "family", the "mark you leave on the universe"? You will not exist, and neither will they. Also, you ridiculously disacknowledge all supernatural phenomenon. I could go on...your position is contradictory, insane, and untenable.
You're obviously a troll, so f**k me in advance for responding to you, but I really hope you keep your religion as long as you live. As someone who requires fear for him to do what's right, you are incapable of understanding morality - you more closely resemble a rat trained by electric shock than a sentient being with any higher brain function than "is this good for me or bad for me?"
There are a depressingly large number of you people around, so even though I'm an atheist, I feel indebted to religion for keeping people like you in line. Leave morality and philosophy for others, young padawan. Feel that we're all ignorant and pathetic if you must - just promise me you'll continue to go to church and fearing the wrath of a vengeful Almighty if you ever submit to any of the truly evil things you and I both know is what you would REALLY want to do with your life.
That's because the movie is to express the filthiness of the common jew.
I WANT TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE.
Jo1:
Your errors:
You mistakenly label me as a "troll", believing that such a classification is an absolute and accurate description of my mind and character, when in actuality it is a fad term that is essentially meaningless.
Your analysis that I operate solely on misguided fear is a two-fold blunder: for one, you ridiculously disregard your own deep-seeded fears. Also, it is such an absurdly inaccurate blanket statement...it simply does not stick at all. Furthermore, you are clearly also disregarding all supernatural phenomenon...which is a tragic mistake.
Lastly, you fart out some nonsense which claims to be wisdom, but is simply another cynically-laden typical comment from the jaded pseudo-intellectual community common at this time period. Gtfo
It doesn't accurately portray Jews. Jews were not Jesus's enemies. Jesus was a Jew! So were all of his original followers. The only Gospel that turned the Jews into "bad guys" was John, which was written almost a hundred years after Jesus died. The Christians at that time were basically becoming rivals with one of the Jewish groups that existed at the time. There were multiple interpretations of Judaism that placed emphasis on certain aspects of the religion. The early generations of Christians were basically considered a faction within Judaism.
Whether or not you like the outcome of something or find meaning in it has no bearing on whether or not it's true. It's preferable to live without there being racism in the world, yet I somehow I still believe in that.
Also, something eventually ceasing to exist doesn't invalidate it's meaning in the present. Just 'cause a vacation will end doesn't mean I'm not gonna go on it.
I totally would have watched a movie about Jessica Alba killing Dane Cook.
ReplyNot only does the trailer for Sweeney Todd show more murder than music, but it's a movie based on a popular musical for stage. If people didn't know that, that's their ignorance, not movie producers' faults.
ReplyHither twice!
So you think the producers weren't aiming to attract moviegoers who hadn't heard of the musical? It maye be their ignorance, but that doesn't mean the advertisers aren't exploiting it.
Should have listed The Village under #5
ReplyI think i'll go watch Pirates now.
Reply.... for the plot, of course.
i thought that jarhead was gonna be a way more intense with a ton of battles and stuff because of the trailer and then it wasnt but i still really like it. Its one of my favorite movies now
ReplyThe Jarhead trailer and damn near every movie trailer that lies about the plot uses tons of scenes that didn't even make it into the film.