L. Ron Hubbard's 5 Most Impressive Lies (Besides Scientology)

#3. On L. Ron Hubbard, War Hero ...

He Said:

After participating in nearly every battle conducted during World War II, Hubbard left the war with more medals than God, and severely wounded in every body part you can conceive of, human or alien. Here's what he claimed in My Philosophy, published in 1965:

"Blinded with injured optic nerves, and lame with physical injuries to hip and back, at the end of World War II, I faced an almost non-existent future. My service record states: 'This officer has no neurotic or psychotic tendencies of any kind whatsoever,' but it also states 'permanently disabled physically.'

And so there came a further blow--I was abandoned by family and friends as a supposedly hopeless cripple and a probable burden upon them for the rest of my days. Yet I worked my way back to fitness and strength in less than two years, using only what I knew about Man and his relationship to the universe. I had no one to help me; what I had to know I had to find out. And it's quite a trick studying when you cannot see.

I became used to being told it was all impossible, that there was no way, no hope. Yet I came to see again and walk again."

As proof, we have this painting that often gets include in Scientology materials on the subject. The artist was totally in the room!

But Actually:

While L. Ron did serve during World War II, his greatest feat was nearly starting a war with Mexico by conducting unauthorized gunnery exercises in Mexico's territorial waters. Before serving him a formal admonition and actually demoting Hubbard for his jackassery, his commanding officers made the effort to call Hubbard a complete idiot in a report:

"Consider this officer lacking in the essential qualities of judgment, leadership and cooperation...Not considered qualified for command or promotion at this time. Recommend duty on a large vessel where he can be properly supervised."

As for those pesky life-threatening injuries sustained during patriotic battle ... eh, not so much. It seems L. Ron was a big fan of the infirmary ward, but not for optic nerve damage, debilitating back injuries or anything that would prompt three concerned medical experts to feverishly attend to him, as illustrated in the above photographic evidence.

Here are a few of the ailments Hubbard complained of (notice we didn't say "was diagnosed with") during his time in the military, and even after his time in the military, when he frequented the Veterans Administration hospitals with his medical benefits:






more conjunctivitis


foot problems

weakening vision

psychological trauma from hardcore combat


bursitis again, this time with calcification

And remember, the VA documents Mr. Hubbard applying for benefits for these ailments during the 1950s, the exact time when he is claiming to be the pinnacle of manhood due to his amazing self-curing feats of fantastical awesomeness. Though you have to be impressed with a guy who can conceive of elevating pinkeye to optic nerve damage. Mad props indeed.

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