The 5 Most Amazing Real Life MacGyver Moments
Were MacGyver real, the world would be a safer place. And not just for people with mullets. Of course, you'd think that MacGyver's almost supernatural resourcefulness has about as much place in the real world as a guy who shoots spider webs out of his wrists. You'd be wrong.
Apparently, people with preternatural resourcefulness exist in real life. Here are five that would have made the bemulleted-one himself beam with the pride of a makeshift heart made out of Popsicle sticks, a timing belt and gum.
#5.
A World War II Pilot Used Jell-O to Copy a Map
So it's World War II. You've been sent into a secret Axis meeting room to obtain top-secret maps of the enemy's troop movements. You can't steal the maps because that would raise suspicions and you can't write down the coordinates because you're retarded. Or you don't have a pencil. Whichever is easier for you to believe.
All you've got is a wooden tray and a pocket full of Jell-O you snuck out of the mess tent. You don't know why you stole a handful of Jell-O, and you especially don't know why you stored it in your pocket, but there's no turning back now. You can hear guards moving in and you've only got a few minutes to get what you came for. What should you do other than have the most pathetic last meal of all time?
According to the book, Colditz--The Definitive History: The Untold Story of World War II's Great Escapes, a group of British pilots in the Colditz prisoner camp were in that exact same situation. The boys gathered together some of the gelatin they had as rations, put the map face up on a wooden tray and poured the Jell-O (lemon-flavored) over them. They then took the Jell-O and pressed it on a sheet of clear greaseproof paper.
It worked. They were able to make 30 copies of the map and enjoyed a tasty meal of lemon-flavored Jell-O because the British were clever, smart and have no taste buds.
Could MacGyver Have Done it Better?
According to MacGyver, a map "can get you in and out of places a lot of different ways" other than just getting yourself from point A to point B. As this video clearly shows, a map can help you unlock doors, distract women in burkas and beat an armed guard senseless:
If the video ran just a little bit longer, MacGyver also could have showed you how a map can help you break up with your pregnant girlfriend, pay off your student loans and establish a Palestinian state. So, yes, while the Jell-O thing was impressive, with 30 copies of a map we're thinking MacGyver could have ended the war.
"Mythbusters" got out of prison using salsa and an old radio to cut through the bars. The salsa provided the acid and the radio used electric current to speed things up.
ReplyI think there's an anti-thumbs-upping strike going on in this page....
ReplyI NEVER have a pencil sharpener, so I always just use the steak-knife attachment on my pocket knife to sharpen my pencils, it's the closest I've ever been to a Macgyver... :)
Reply"C'mere, grab this!" SO many jokes.
ReplyAlso, wouldn't that map have been in tatters after all that?
The MacGyver is our shepherd,we shall not want.
ReplyThe oxygen scrubber problem aboard the LEM wasn't something they "...didn't realize...", they knew it from the time the astronauts moved into the vehicle. Still, kudos for making the field-expedient solution number one on your list.
Replyniqab not burka
ReplyRemember: Mac beat the guy up with the map because he'd hidden an iron bar inside the rolled-up map. It wasn't so much that he was beating them up with the map, as he was using the map to conceal the iron bar.
ReplyActually, a map can be a lot of help in establishing a Palestinian state. McGyver is optional, but not required.
ReplyThis article got me watching MacGyver again (Netflix has every episode up for instant viewing). 86 episodes in, and my addiction is still going strong. Thanks, Cracked! ;-)
ReplyThe MacGuyver clip for #5 was almost plausible until he surfed down a sand hill using a piece of paper. Then used it to fix a Hot-Air Balloon.
Replyeven the hot air balloon fixing was kind of believable they blew it with the sand surfing.
I love the casket jet ski. Especially when Macgyver whips a doughnut as he's escaping
ReplyOkay, WTF was that MacGyverone in #3??
ReplyMorris and the Anglins brothers were career criminals. They had been doing time one way or another since they were 13 and would have probably not " Gone straight" This is why the FBI thinks they were dead by the time they were found missing.
ReplyMy best macgyver moment was when I (trying to kill a pigeon) made a deadly crossbow out of a Nerf gun a rubber band, three pencils some string, nail and duct tape. later when I found the pigeon I realized it had a note attached to it in some sort of code.
Replyi never heard anything about the guy in palestine texas.. and i go out there to buy booze pretty often. weird.
Replywhy someone can post this article on POZ-Dating[.]Com? is it legal? any answer? You guys don't care? I think it only blongs to CRACKED, Not POZ-Dating[.]C0m or any other fu*king sites
ReplyBlongs? A new form of bongs?
Not sure that this is where MacGyver got it from, but the faking your death to get out of prison via burial-at-sea was in the Count of Monte-Cristo
Replybut without the jet-ski
Oh, come on, a remote-controlled coffin jet-ski. We've all been there, right?
ReplyWay for falling back on the obvious, MacGyver.
Like, your lame enemies are like, so hung up on giving you a funeral at sea, with a nice coffin and exceptionnally strong and determined pall-bearers (seriously, s**t comes down and these guys GO FOR IT running at full speed. Soldiers, your emergency will just have to wait, cause we have something to dump in the river, and there's no stopping us now : that thing is our enemy, and he's likely dead, since he's in the coffin, that's also pretty heavy what with the jet-ski in there, but whaddayagonnado?)...
But for all their attention to burial at sea (or some water, anyway, which turns out to be a hell of a lot more convenient than a jet-ski under a few feet of dirt), at least half-a-dozen trained soldiers obviously can't beat this unprotected straight-line getaway...
f**k, these bite-sized MacGyver clips just might be addictive.
Maps f**king RULE!
ReplyDude, they do everything.
No matter that the evil terrorists won't have their plans to continue with, so they'll probably just make up new ones, getting that map was so worth it.
And almost burning or losing it at the very last level of escape by half-assedly duct-taping it to the apparent single hole in that balloon (what, did the bullet just stop in the middle?) was obviously the thing to do.
But seriously, just what the f**k kind of plan was that?
Why would you have to crawl through the window on the side of the building in attention-grabbing (sus**cious is another surprise curse word, it seems) american clothes when, in order to make it cooler, they've put the key in the lock on the outside of the room, where you could just walk up to it? Why even f**king use the map as a sarbacane when he could have thrown the damn rock? Why plunge further into crime by assaulting and stealing from an innocent civilian woman when he could have thought of taking a damn burka along? Sure, he had time to keep a hot-air ballon handy way out in the desert, but a portable quick disguise for camouflage? No way, that's crazy talk.
Who needs logic when you can escape the bad guys by riding the very object you came to steal like a crazy carpet?
Man, MacGyver is so much more fun than i ever thought it'd be.