If we've said it once, we've said it a million times: Mother Nature is the enemy, and she wants nothing more than to destroy us.
Look, we get it. Once you find out that your patronus is a three-legged alley cat, it's hard to get motivated to check on the news.
I can't even do something simple like log onto Twitter without getting that same feeling of dread that I got as an ignorant third grader way back in 1982.
Breitbart makes Fox News look like the BBC.
When you're boldly going where no man has gone before, you have to keep yourself from getting bored.
The dark, sticky underbelly of the internet is inundated with madcap election theories that are somehow even more far-fetched than the accusations the actual candidates have been throwing around.
We forever remember Michael Richards for screaming racial slurs, and Charlie Sheen will always be a punchline, but the vast majority of the world has forgotten about these.
If you can't stand to watch reality TV, that pain is nothing compared to what the stars went through.
Life on an aircraft carrier isn't nearly as cool as 'G.I. Joe' led us to believe.
Trolls are assholes, sure, but you have to give them props where they're due.
Sometimes, people end up recreating entire crazy-ass schemes straight out of movies or TV shows -- only to be foiled by a little thing called 'reality.'
We all know Rome wasn't built in a day.
These posters are beautiful, and have absolutely not withstood the test of time.
Sometimes Hollywood leaves out the more uncomfortable details of strip clubs.
Not surprisingly, the strangely haircutted TV news anchors of the past got social trends just as wrong.
Dating is a never-ending source of horror stories.
When it comes to political traditions we take for granted, not only do other countries do things differently, they sometimes do our democratic values quite a lot better.
Some will call these little overachievers 'inspirational,' but let's be honest -- they just remind us of how much we've wasted our own lives.
Insanity is literally moments away from happening.