The following is a very real account and not to be confused for a sequel to 'Conspiracy Theory.'
Instead of dropkicking Super Mutants into frag mines, I'm spending my apocalypse scrounging materials to build the perfect armchair for my dining set.
China is about to surpass North America as the largest film market in the world, so bid farewell to freshly-baked apple pie and the Pledge of Allegiance led by an anthropomorphic box of popcorn and a live chorus of bald eagles.
It's not your fault that you're a lazy, useless dullard destined for failure and mockery. It's your brain's.
Turns out the guy who spread butter all over his body is a consummate professional who has no patience for other people's shenanigans.
Spoiler warning and all that junk.
Nothing more romantic than being kidnapped and dying young.
Thanks to centuries of forced inbreeding and genetic tampering, you too can own docile versions of once dangerous animals.
Medals and nationalism are all well and good, but we wondered what it was actually like to train and compete in a system that takes away both a person's height and free time.
Sometimes all it takes to suck the magic out of a place is to visit it and discover hundreds of other people had the same delusions you do.
The Loch Ness Monster is probably a catfish the size of a car -- which is actually more terrifying than the myth.
In Ron Howard's 1985 movie 'Cocoon,' a group of elderly people living in a Florida retirement community become magically rejuvenated by aliens.
In Ron Howard's 1985 movie 'Cocoon,' a group of elderly people living in a Florida retirement commun...
Coma the Doof Warrior's mother would be so proud of him.
Finally, an answer as to why Bob from accounting is doing so much better than you.
Kevin Ducharme is 41 with Alzheimer's. We're giving him a chance to share all he knows about it, while he's still able to share anything at all.
Clearly, Ted Cruz is not a punk.
At the tender age of 21, I've worked a few retail jobs and working in this soul-destroying field has taught me a thing or two.
We like our history like we like our video games - violent and full of secrets.