It turns out The Man is pretty fond of taking your hard-earned money and spending it on the dumbest shit possible.
We all have to go through a very specific series of symptoms on our way to full adulthood that no doctor or teacher or tribal elder will warn us about in advance.
Let's examine five types of deplorable Internet comments and the columnists from rather large institutions who are their living embodiment.
Literally everything in a computer is easier than its analog counterpart.
Every so often a song explodes into the mainstream completely by accident, tearing up the charts to the surprise (and sometimes chagrin) of the musicians responsible.
We talked to a few folks to get the inside story on an industry that is every bit as creepy as you'd expect.
Pieces of shit like these never had a chance.
SPOILER ALERT: This column is probably NSFW.
It turns out those wheel thingies on skateboards play a key part in not eating pavement.
Enough is enough, Hollywood, we've reached our threshold for B.S.
Ideally, time will prove me crazy and incorrect, but approaching the Trump candidacy as a comedy sketch that will never come true could potentially be the most tragic mistake this country will ever make.
Newsflash: You only have 407 days until the 2016 presidential election.
It turns out the following first-world problems actually benefit you.
Sometimes front ways and back ways just aren't enough ways to do sex.
Explosions in movies have an amazing power. They can make a scene more intense or authentic or awesome or completely and entirely dumb.
Some burglars are such stunning asshats, they make national news with how badly they screw up their crimes.
Special effects people were probably those kids in the lunchroom that combined all their food into one pile of mush. And then ate it.
Robot Teddy Roosevelt 2016.
A lot of inventors end up flying under the radar do to human ignorance. These folks? We're only ignorant to the fact they could've been so innovative.