The ensemble above is the evolution of things humans have scribbled on walls since the dawn of man as reproduced on the body of a guy whose life plan consists only of the words "Fuck it." The cavemen invented handprints, the Egyptians left behind cryptic images of eyes, and alien archeologists will one day uncover countless high school bathroom stalls filled with crudely drawn scrotums and conclude that our extinction was necessary.
The plaque says "Ring for Your Mommy," because Ono suffers from an old gypsy curse that forces her to do everything 30 percent creepier.
There's a fine line between fashion and building a rig to strap dynamite to your torso. The Bell Board finds that line and inexplicably straps some hotel lobby call bells to it. We guess this would make more sense if the bells were over the guy's pecs, but they're actually about five inches below, like musical wolf nipples.
The words "Ring for Your Mommy" are written across the bottom of the clear plate, making the Bell Board the perfect hazing prank for your French art college frat house. But you really need to be an "I'm so dull people think I'm profound" waif to make this accessory work. If the Bell Board were worn by a 350-pound NFL fan with back hair, citizens would be calling old-timey dog catchers to subdue him with big silly nets.