So why are people writing panicky, alarmist bullshit about how obsessive his fans are? The guy writing that article says that people tweeting that they'd "do anything" to meet Bieber "scares" him, which confuses us because 1) teenagers say ridiculous stuff like that all the time and 2) everyone on Twitter is full of shit. While it's definitely fucked up that people are waging hate campaigns against those who say they don't like Bieber on Twitter, blaming that on Bieber himself is just as dumb as blaming horny Internet creeps on My Little Pony.
Had His "Worst Birthday"
Justin Bieber's 19th birthday was on March 1. That's a piece of knowledge that's in our heads now, and you know why? Because the Internet just would not shut up about it. It was pretty much the biggest story in the world at the beginning of March, and if you didn't do your homework, you may not have realized that the whole thing came down to two words in a single tweet: "worst birthday."
"I blew the candles out with my tears."
That's it. That's the whole story: A 19-year-old kid thought that his birthday was the worst one of all the birthdays just long enough to type it up on his phone. Then he got over it. We looked into what pissed him off, but it turns out it was something stupid and we don't care.
Here's the point: The kid's a plastic-mold pop star, which means his career has had an expiration date stamped on it since day one. This whole Justin Bieber thing is gonna run its course, and once it's over, hopefully the guy will have a nice life. If you don't like his music, that's really all there is to say.
Chiaki Nozu / Getty
Stay away from heroin and go easy on the plastic surgery, 'kay?
J. F. Sargent is a workshop moderator for Cracked who has all the social media bases covered. Twitter? Check. Tumblr? On it. Facebook? You fucking know it.