To put it soundly: The world tends to be a bit of a fuck, and there's no better way to dwell on that than by reading up on the news. After all, no one is racing to tweet about the time a man refrains from eating another dude's face, no matter how badly that man may have wanted to.
Still, every now and then something good squeezes through -- a light at the end of the tunnel -- and we're forced to face the fact that for every missing face, there's a full stomach. Here are such good sides to otherwise shitty stories ...
3We're Not Losing Polar Bears; They're Just Turning Brown
Go ahead and Google Image search "polar bears global warming" and see what happens. As always, we'll wait; we're here all day.
DEA / C. Sappa
Just like this guy ...
How'd that feel? Not great? Yeah, we thought so.
Well, rest easy, hippie -- not only are there apparently more polar bears than there were 40 years ago, but it turns out that these furry thugs don't really need our help; they'll simply adapt like last time. As a recent study published in the journal PLOS Genetics discovered, when the last ice age receded and an ancient species of Alaskan polar bear found itself getting more and more stranded, it simply starting doing what it did best: banging whatever looked the most like it. Luckily that species was brown bears and not, like, horses or gorillas.
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"Once you go brown, you only occasionally go back."