So what happens to all that stank-ass effluvia? Take a guess.
See, while the United States and any other country can throw all the pollution laws they want at cruise lines, that shit will only stick for about three nautical miles out. Byproducts like bilge water -- an oily runoff that a ship can churn out 25,000 gallons of per week -- have to go somewhere. That "somewhere" usually is "the octopus's garden, where gentle flurries of tourist droppings rain down upon a confused Ringo Starr."
William West / AFP / Getty
They're all having the shrimp cocktail tonight. And every night.
And that's just the waste water -- we haven't even touched on the crap-ton of air pollution these things belch out, a problem the government's just getting around to addressing. But in case you haven't figured it out yet, we really have no idea what these ships are dumping out there. This brings us to our next, equally depressing point...