Please Stop Saying These Things

Everyone gather in the conference room; we're throwing a retirement party for these overused words and expressions. They've served their purpose, but it's time to replace them with younger, fresher, more useful words.

So we're going to need you to go ahead and stop saying things like ...

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 IT IS WHAT IT IS  You could strive to change the world for the better, or you could dismiss any constructive problem-solving with this incredibly r

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 [EVENTI-GATE  Watergate wasn't about water. It was the name of the hotel, SO start naming scandals after the place where the action went down inste

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 0 WAS BORN IN  THEAWRONG DECADE. Would you have rather been born when you had to stop at a gas station to ask for directions and before sexual harr

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 SAVAGE  SAVAGE Did the song Savages from Disney's Pocahontas teach you nothing?! Say wild or cruel, instead of a word that was used against I

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GOOD VIBES ONLY Get this meaningless gibberish out of your mouth. At least live, laugh, love promotes positivity, instead of excluding people who m

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 JUST SAYING  Instead of saying this, say what you actually mean: I'm not going to hold myself accountable for whatever rude thing I just said. CR

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  BIWEEKLY Thue G Just say every two weeks or twice a week. When a word is more confusing than clarifying, it's time to trash it.

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SLEPT LIKE A BABY Anyone who's had a newborn would disagree strongly with this sentiment. CRAGKEDCOM

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 LAY ME DOWN  This is a PSA to all songwriters. No one uses this phrase to mean to have sex. It's not poetic, it's just a weirdly-specific cliche.

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 EVERYTHING  HAPPENSIFOR AVREASON! The five little words no one wants to hear while they are suffering.

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 WIFE BEATER  You sicko, just call it a tank top.

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 NOW MORE  THANIEVER This filler phrase is rarely accurate. The present can be awful, but the whole history of humans includes a lot of awfulness to

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