One Guy Wanted To Play In The McDonald's Ball Pit
It's not that every person paying for friendship is too creepy for normal society, but some of them totally are. "I had a friend match who wanted to go to a McDonald's ... He was in his 40s and had on a parka even though it was in the 70's," says John. "As an icebreaker, I asked him about it, and he said it was to keep him warm. It was bad vibes, but I brushed that aside. Maybe he was really cold."
See, the thing is, lots of people paying for companionship have real trouble getting it otherwise. It often doesn't take long to find out why. "We ordered and he talked. No surprise, because most 'friends' love to talk. It was most about San Francisco, and we shared what we liked about the city. Then he said 'Let's go in the playplace.'" You know, the little play area where customers send their kids?
"Before I could say maybe we shouldn't, he took off his shoes and jumped with a huge belly flop into the ball pit, narrowly missing a toddler. The parents, quite rightly, said he should get out, but he threw a few plastic balls at them. I told him, 'Hey, maybe we should go back to eating,' but he tried to get me to join him. The manager came in after a parent complained and told him to get out. He did, and said, 'You're no fun at all.' We walked out and he sat back down, eating as if nothing had happened, even with the manager eyeing us in a way that said 'Leave now.'"
Well ... maybe the guy's just a child at heart? "When we left, he then suggested that we wear each others shirts. I said no, as kindly as I could, and he said, 'You're no fun.' Then he floated the idea of following around a random person and seeing how long it would take before they noticed and walked faster or ran. I had to say no again, because that is creepy as fuck. Thankfully he said, 'I know the site said we had a lot in common, but I'm not seeing it.'"
Thus, their friend date ended before one or both of them wound up in the back of a squad car.
Related: I Was Paid By The Rich To Be A Fake, Adoring Fan
One Guy Pretended To Drown
That is not an isolated example. Offer your friendship for cash, and you get a dazzling array of folks who just ... don't know to be around people. Maybe if they were wealthy, they'd just be called eccentric?