Writer and editor for niche website Cracked.com. I am definitely not a shaved bear. For more attempts at witticisms and my personal recipes for toilet wine, do follow me @cedricvoets.
Nicolas Cage's New Movie Is About Alien MMA (Yup) A movie about martial arts aliens may seem like peak Cage, but it signals the end a winning streak. Authors By Cedric Voets Published March 22, 2019
Google's New Gaming System Might Have A Huge Stupid Downside Do you like ads? Because this is how you get ads. Authors By Cedric Voets Published March 20, 2019
Myspace Admits It Has Deleted All Of Your Stuff (Again) The old MySpace has finally gone down, and it took all your stuff with it. Authors By Cedric Voets Published March 18, 2019
Study: Hip-Hop Makes Your Cheese Taste Better (Seriously) Your cheese may have better taste in music than you do. Authors By Cedric Voets Published March 15, 2019
Netflix Is Making More Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Movies There's a winning formula hidden behind Netflix' latest gimmick. Authors By Cedric Voets Published March 13, 2019
Scientists Will Zap Prisoners' Brains To Make Them Behave A Spanish prison experiment will try to answer the big question: How close can we get to a mind-control dystopia without anyone caring? Authors By Cedric Voets Published March 11, 2019
Steven Spielberg Wants To Destroy Netflix Movies Spielberg's attacks on the streaming site's movie cred make him a big blockbuster hypocrite Authors By Cedric Voets Published March 04, 2019
There's Something Much Scarier On YouTube Kids Than Momo A sinister presence festers in kids videos, and it's not some dumb Japanese bird-lady. Authors By Cedric Voets Published March 01, 2019
Topher Grace Has Made The Greatest 'Star Wars' Trailer Ever The former 'That '70s Show' star has a hidden talent: making our least-favorite trilogies suck less. Authors By Cedric Voets Published February 27, 2019
The CIA Live-Tweeted The Oscars To Debunk 'Black Panther' This is not the first time the CIA has tried to use Hollywood to change the story. Authors By Cedric Voets Published February 25, 2019
Nike's New Smart Shoe Is Having Dumb Technical Difficulties Nike's smart sneaker is so dumb that it can't even tie itself. Authors By Cedric Voets Published February 22, 2019
FDA: Stealing Young People's Blood Won't Make You Immortal Stop absorbing the blood of the young -- is something no government should ever have to say. Authors By Cedric Voets Published February 20, 2019
How Easy Is It To Spy On Armies Using Social Media? Uh, Very Remember, loose tweets sink fleets! Authors By Cedric Voets Published February 18, 2019
Will Smith Reveals Why He Didn't Play Neo In 'The Matrix' The Fresh Prince finally reveals why he turned down one the biggest roles in Hollywood history. Authors By Cedric Voets Published February 15, 2019
How Moldy Jam Became A Metaphor For The Insanity Of Brexit Whatever happened to letting them eat cake? Authors By Cedric Voets Published February 13, 2019
The 'Captain Marvel' Website Is A Hilarious 1990s Trainwreck The retro '90s website is perfect. Too perfect. Authors By Cedric Voets Published February 11, 2019
Resident Evil 2's Remake Made Its Scariest Boss Even Scarier You’re not playing a game about killing zombies, he’s playing a game about killing you. Authors By Cedric Voets Published February 08, 2019
'Game Of Thrones' Sneakers Are A Thing Now You'll need a lot of fantasy to dream up the corporate synergy. Authors By Cedric Voets Published February 06, 2019
Man Dies, Takes $190 Million Of Customers' Crypto With Him The money is safe and secure, it's just that the guy who can get it just dropped dead. Authors By Cedric Voets Published February 04, 2019
Uh, The David Bowie Movie Won't Have Bowie's Music In It Remember Jackie Jormp-Jomp from '30 Rock'? Yeah, that's our reality now. Authors By Cedric Voets Published February 01, 2019
