Writer and editor for niche website Cracked.com. I am definitely not a shaved bear. For more attempts at witticisms and my personal recipes for toilet wine, do follow me @cedricvoets.
President Of Nigeria: I’m Not A Clone, Stop Asking Now that’s how you do a birther conspiracy theory. Authors By Cedric Voets Published December 03, 2018
Another Studio Is Launching Another Dumb Streaming Service With streaming becoming ever more fragmented, it's a good thing our parents only ever use the one password. Authors By Cedric Voets Published November 30, 2018
Customer Service Can See Everything You Type (Everything) Special chat software lets their employees see everything you're typing in real time -- not that they want you to know that. Authors By Cedric Voets Published November 28, 2018
Ants Are Better At Flu Season Than Your Stupid Co-Workers Ants take sick days, get healthcare, and most importantly, vaccinate. Authors By Cedric Voets Published November 26, 2018
Oscar Isaac: Playing Apocalypse In That X-Men Movie Sucked For Isaac, playing Apocalypse sucked as much as watching him play Apocalypse. Authors By Cedric Voets Published November 19, 2018
Reminder: November 17 is Danny DeVito Day There are only 24 hours left to get ready for the most important holiday of the year, so let's get real weird with it. Authors By Cedric Voets Published November 16, 2018
The Worst Version of 'Monopoly' Has Just Come Out Monopoly lands back where it started, will not be receiving $200. Authors By Cedric Voets Published November 14, 2018
There's A New Twist To The Latest Quentin Tarantino Drama Allegedly, the legendary film composer Ennio Morricone has repeated a negative opinion of Quentin Tarantino -- or as he would call that, an homage. Authors By Cedric Voets Published November 12, 2018
Well Everybody, There's A 'Breaking Bad' Movie Coming Vince Gilligan’s upcoming Breaking Bad movie will give reveal the true fate of everyone’s favorite character. No, not that one. Authors By Cedric Voets Published November 08, 2018
That Comet Isn't An Alien Probe, Sorry Everybody The assertion that the interstellar comet that passed Earth might be an alien probe is just science fiction. Specifically, the plot of 'Star Trek IV.' Authors By Cedric Voets Published November 07, 2018
Blizzard Unveils New 'Diablo' Game, And Fans Are Mad As Heck A phone-only Diablo was met with stunned faces and so so much online hate. Authors By Cedric Voets Published November 05, 2018
We're Getting A 'Gladiator' Sequel, But Not The One We Need Ridley Scott is finally dusting off his sandals and taking a stab at reviving Gladiator. Authors By Cedric Voets Published November 02, 2018
This Is Probably The Dumbest News Story of 2018 A conservative plot to frame Robert Mueller for sexual assault unraveled in minutes. Authors By Cedric Voets Published October 31, 2018
One Of Disneyland's Creepiest Urban Legends Is Actually True The House of Mouse is covered in human ashes. Authors By Cedric Voets Published October 25, 2018
Pirates Of The Caribbean Might Be Rebooted, Minus Capt. Jack Disney’s pirate flagship might be getting a new canon and losing a problematic captain. Authors By Cedric Voets Published October 24, 2018
The Latest 'Simpsons' Memes Are Not For The Young, Hip Combining Golden Age Simpsons and Limewire piracy is a real litmus test for internet oldsters. Authors By Cedric Voets Published October 22, 2018
Girl Bakes Dead Grandpa Into Cookies, Feeds Him To Class When someone says they’ve processed their grandparent’s death, they usually don’t mean with a blender. Authors By Cedric Voets Published October 18, 2018
Tilda Swinton Secretly Played An Old Man In Her Latest Movie The most surprising twist in the horror remake was a double scoop of scary Swinton. Authors By Cedric Voets Published October 15, 2018
Game Of Thrones Used Sci-Fi Weapons To Prevent Spoilers The medieval show went full high-tech to protect its precious secrets from drones. Authors By Cedric Voets Published October 12, 2018
Behold, The Most Hilariously Brutal Political Ad of 2018 Richard Linklater is taking a break from making navel-gazing movies to go straight for the jugular. Authors By Cedric Voets Published October 10, 2018
