Writer and editor for niche website Cracked.com. I am definitely not a shaved bear. For more attempts at witticisms and my personal recipes for toilet wine, do follow me @cedricvoets.
The 'John Wick 3' Posters Are Some Serious Art Van art's still art, right? Authors By Cedric Voets Published May 08, 2019
'Game Of Thrones' Just Had The World's Dumbest Easter Egg Move over Ed Sheeran, this is now the worst cameo in Westeros. Authors By Cedric Voets Published May 06, 2019
The Russian Spy Whale Is Defecting To The West A View To A Krill Authors By Cedric Voets Published May 03, 2019
It's Time To Talk About That Awful Sonic Movie Trailer It's taking a big bite out of other franchises with its gross human teeth. Authors By Cedric Voets Published May 01, 2019
Marvel Smashes Box Office Record, Still Shortchanges Creator Despite billions in profits, the share going to the comic book creators is a lot less than 50-50. Authors By Cedric Voets Published April 29, 2019
There's A Simple Reason Twitter Won't Ban All The Nazis Here's a clue, it rhymes with 'Dump.' Authors By Cedric Voets Published April 26, 2019
Yes Way! Keanu Reeves Is Getting His Own Film Festival Celebrate Hollywood's nicest actor's many … various … enough beloved movies. Authors By Cedric Voets Published April 24, 2019
Behold The Official Sesame Street/Game Of Thrones Crossover It's the Red Reconciliation, not the Red Wedding, that changes everything about Game of Thrones.. Authors By Cedric Voets Published April 22, 2019
Here's A Twitter Account About Petting Dogs In Video Games Game designers are pledging to spend more time on belly-rubbing mechanics. Authors By Cedric Voets Published April 19, 2019
This Real Estate Ad Looks Like The World's Worst Adult Film Remember when realtors just baked cookies to get people excited about houses? Authors By Cedric Voets Published April 17, 2019
What The New Opening Credits Say About 'Game Of Thrones' A bigger budget and narrower focus are king in the last season of GOT. Authors By Cedric Voets Published April 15, 2019
The Black Hole Picture Spawned The Saddest Conspiracy Theory MRAs refuse to believe a woman can see a black hole, but not their worth as sexual partners. Authors By Cedric Voets Published April 12, 2019
This Is Probably The Weirdest Gaming Drama Of 2019 A government tough on ethics breaches, tough on space piracy. Authors By Cedric Voets Published April 10, 2019
The Cats In The New 'Pet Sematary' Were 'A Pack Of Divas' The director of Stephen King's horror classic talks trash about his biggest stars. Authors By Cedric Voets Published April 08, 2019
Meet Heinz's Kranch, A Combo Of Ketchup, Ranch, And Sadness The ketchup company promises to flood the world in dumb sauce mixes. Authors By Cedric Voets Published April 05, 2019
Want To Get Rid Of Mosquitoes? Play Them Some Skrillex Quit your Bangarang-ing, bloodsuckers. Authors By Cedric Voets Published April 03, 2019
Elon Musk Released A Harambe Rap And This Isn't April Fools' We swear this isn't a sponsored link by The Onion. Authors By Cedric Voets Published April 01, 2019
Tom Hiddleston's Chinese Vitamin Ad Is Deranged Art The Loki actor is throwing some low-key serial killer vibes in this creepy ad. Authors By Cedric Voets Published March 29, 2019
Beware The Dumb Clickbait Scam Of 'Poor' Rich People A new clickbait fad is trying to squeeze some cash out of our post-capitalist anger. Authors By Cedric Voets Published March 27, 2019
A High School Did 'Alien' As Its School Play (And It's Rad) In space, no one can hear your parents say how proud they are. Authors By Cedric Voets Published March 25, 2019
