Despite an often unhealthy obsession with realism, video gamers have long been conditioned to accept that their bullet-catching demigod protagonists aren't able to do the simplest of things -- like opening most doors, stepping over a three-inch barrier, or having a calm and rational conversation with an irradiated cannibal warrior. But while we can easily accept those, there's nothing that ruins immersion more than meeting a dog and not being able to pet it.
This unforgivable breach of video game trust is exactly why one Twitter account is on a crusade to raise awareness for the rights of game dogs to know they're gud boys. CanYouPetTheDog is attempting to catalog every single game that features dogs, and whether or not you can smoosh their faces.
And while petting canines with your sword until they lay down doesn't count, CanYouPetTheDog does allow for some creative approaches to loving pups, like building a whole stage in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate ...
... or giving him a nice pat after using his butt as a rocket launcher in Final Fantasy VIII ...
But CanYouPetTheDog is also pointing a paw at the games that callously leave ears unscratched and tails unwagged:
Thanks to the account's astronomical popularity, CanYouPetTheDog's campaign has now become more than a mere Santa Claus list of which video games have been naughty and which have been a good boy. (Yes he is. Yes he is.) The account has become so popular that designers are changing their games because of it. Gamers rejoiced early April when the makers of Enter The Gungeon credited CanYouPetTheDog for making their danger dogs get a +100 buff to their love stat.
And in little time, several other designers have updated their games to make their pooches pettable, from indie games like BUCKLER 2 ...
... all the way to thief-king Fortnite, though their attempt to make their backpack pets pettable is so lazy that it's looking less like a loving pat and more like your character is angrily swiping left on Dog Tinder.
For more weird tangents and his personal recipes for toilet wine, do follow Cedric on Twitter.
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