In 1906, at the ripe young age of 20, Freuchen dropped out of medical school and set off to explore Greenland by dog sled. That's where he met his first wife, an Inuit woman named Navarana Mequpaluk, who bore him a daughter named Pipaluk Jette Tukuminguaq Kasaluk Palika Hager and a son named Mequsaq Avataq Igimaqssusuktoranguapaluk -- because even the alphabet rightly feared Peter Freuchen.
On another of what came to be known as the Thule Expeditions, Freuchen found himself buried alive after waiting out a blizzard. With probably the grossest MacGyverism ever, Freuchen took a dump into his hand, shaped his deuce into a chisel, waited for it to freeze rock-solid, and then chipped his way to freedom. Unfortunately, s**t-chiseling is grueling work, and by the time he crawled back into camp hours later, his left foot was hopelessly frostbitten. That's when he -- without any anesthetic whatsoever -- performed a self-amputation on his gangrenous foot, hopefully not with his s**t-chisel.
"No, I cast a bone saw out of frozen pee and blood in a snow mold."
When the Nazis came a-knocking during World War II, Freuchen returned home to join the Danish resistance movement. After aiding countless refugees from the Reich, Freuchen was captured and sentenced to death. Of course, he escaped and fled to Sweden, because if Mother Nature herself couldn't murder the bastard, what chance did the Nazis have?