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Michael Swaim

I write here sometimes. Also make videos. I also do that one (the videos one) at my own site, Those Aren't Muskets! (www.thosearentmuskets.com). I also do a lot of other stuff, but it's not as directly applicable to the Internet, and I feel like that's what you're probably most interested in. I often shave.

I Will Soon Be Judging American Idol

It\'s happened. The dynasty that was American Idol has come crumbling down. But Producers, I’m giving you a second chance. I will allow you to hire me as judge. All I ask is that you publicly fire DioGuardi, put the show on sabbatical for retooling, and rename it Aswaimican Michael.

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2012 ... The Realistic Edition

While we're waiting to see if the Mayans knew what they were talking about, here's a preview for a movie that predicts a much more plausible 2012 disaster.

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The 8 Best Internet Sketch Troupes Whose Initials Aren't TAM

Since moving the Muskets! franchise to Hollywood, I\'ve discovered the truth in that old adage: it\'s not what you know, it\'s who you know. What better way to make friends of these people than to arbitrarily rank them from worst to best, in an article whose title implies that even the best aren’t nearly as good as my own troupe?

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The 10 Most Devastating Insults of All Time

The French call it \"l\'esprit d\'escalier,\" or \"staircase ghost.\" To the rest of us, it is known simply as the comeback, that divine and tender coincidence of all the universe\'s comedic forces at the perfect moment. A truly good comeback can instantly turn tables, elevate the terminally zinged to the status of champion, and reduce the zinger t

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