Class War! A Handy Guide
It's no mystery that our economy is in trouble. The financial upheavals caused by lazy poor people have affected all of us, even me. In fact, especially me. Why just this week, for the first time in years, I was reduced to snorting cocaine off of an average-class hooker's ass. I felt so defiled afterward I puked Goldschlager all over the console of my private plane, Air Force Fun. But, as always, I must remain stalwart, and keep a cool head about me. I'm not the type to jump to conclusions. Therefore, you should understand how serious I am when I say that after reading this article about the widening gap between the rich and poor worldwide, I am officially predicting a violent class war that will leave millions dead. Not thousands. Millions. LOOK AT THESE CHARTS.
HOW TO NOT DIE WHEN THE GOVERNMENTS OF THE WORLD COLLAPSE
FOR POOR EYES ONLY
DIAMONDS AREN’T FOREVER
When not writing for Cracked, Michael incites rebellion as head writer and co-founder of Those Aren't Muskets!