Ever notice how the moment one candidate beats the other, they're suddenly best friends? What happened to two weeks ago, when you were calling each other delusional, psychotic geezers who palled around with terrorists? It's either rampant hypocrisy, or else all those attack ads were nothing but cheap political maneuvers (gasp!).
In order to protect the innocence of the American public, I've taken it upon myself to make McCain's concession speech as vitriolic and hate-filled as the months leading up to it were. Do us both a favor, and watch this video over and over until it has supplanted all memories of the actual speech.
When not writing for Cracked, Michael finally reveals his bias as head writer and co-founder of Those Aren't Muskets!
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Whether educating the world about the dangers of firecrackers, entertaining kids as Christmas Ape, or helping to save Tony Orlando’s house, the hacky ‘Simpsons’ celebrity has done a lot of hilariously bad-sounding films and shows. But here are the ones we’ll definitely never forget
Including this terrifying bit from Ronald Reagan at the height of the Cold War: ‘My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you today that I’ve signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes’