Have you ever wanted to write award-winning television, don't own a computer, typewriter, or pen, and yet are somehow reading this? Well, you're in luck! Just follow this simple guide, selecting scenes at random from within each section and rearranging them on a big board. Voila! Your very own episode of TV's
House. When finished, simply fold your board up and shove it under the door of a Hollywood Producer; you'll be rolling in Emmys in no time!*
*WARNING: rolling in Emmys is extremely painful.
When not writing for Cracked, Michael photoshops for Cracked as Head Writer and Co-Founder of Those Aren't Muskets!
Sign up for the Cracked Newsletter
Get the best of Cracked sent directly to your inbox!
Including this terrifying bit from Ronald Reagan at the height of the Cold War: ‘My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you today that I’ve signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes’
Whether educating the world about the dangers of firecrackers, entertaining kids as Christmas Ape, or helping to save Tony Orlando’s house, the hacky ‘Simpsons’ celebrity has done a lot of hilariously bad-sounding films and shows. But here are the ones we’ll definitely never forget