Ladies and gentlemen, I'm here to tell you a story. A story that may very well burrow into your soul and take up permanent residence; a chilling tale so unbelievable it would be incredible, if only it weren't absolutely true
. I talk of the arrival of the world's first supervillain.
His name (until he publicly changes it to "Professor Sin" or somesuch) is Jim Blanning, and he looks like this.
Terrified yet? Well, maybe I'm getting ahead of myself…
New Year's Eve. All seems as it should be: the skiers and snowboarders have retired to their respective lodges for hot cocoa and corn muffins, the snow bunnies flit around the room in their woolen finery, each a gift to the world, an affirmation of the renewal that the clock is making ready to strike.
But tonight, the clock will not strike midnight, my friends. Tonight, the clock strikes only FEAR.
Kaboom! In the distance, the rumble of an explosion. Kaboom!
Panicked looks on the faces of children huddled around the fire. What was that sound? Whatever it was, it sounds like it’s getting closer to—
BLAMMO! The cabin’s logs are wrenched out of place and projected inward by a mighty blast! Logs, instantly aflame, rocket into the mass of partygoers and start pummeling their faces indiscriminately. Oh, cruel inertia, they curse, as their faces are reduced to a pink jelly by the impact...
Well, that’s what