
Michael Swaim
I write here sometimes. Also make videos. I also do that one (the videos one) at my own site, Those Aren't Muskets! (www.thosearentmuskets.com). I also do a lot of other stuff, but it's not as directly applicable to the Internet, and I feel like that's what you're probably most interested in. I often shave.
7 True Stories That Should’ve Already Been Made Into Movies
Ahh September, the leaves are changing into autumnal shades of yellow, red and orange, the air has a chilly bite, and movie theaters are being inundated with 'Based on a True Story' Oscar-bait.
- Authors
- By Jack O'Brien, Alex Schmidt, Carmen Angelica, Michael Swaim, Tom Reimann
- Published
10 Fictional Universes Where You Don't Want To Be A Ghost
Congratulations! You've died in a fictional universe where the afterlife exists!
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- By Jack O'Brien, Michael Swaim, Daniel O'Brien
- Published
Insane Simpsons Fan Theories That Are Totally Wrong
Fan theories are kind of our thing.
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- By Daniel O'Brien, Michael Swaim, Jack O'Brien
- Published
9 Generational Talents You've Never Heard Of
Here are some words you usually don't find in the same sentence: rocket science, orgies, jet propulsion, and the occult.
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- By Michael Swaim, Jack O'Brien
- Published
Why Humanity Is Doomed To Fight Over Insignificant Problems
Sorry to get personal, but which way do you wipe?
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- By Soren Bowie, Cody Johnston, Michael Swaim
- Published
Words Of Wisdom That Are Complete Bullsh!t
If you know that the early bird gets the worm, I'm sure you also know to stop and smell the roses, that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, and variety is the spice of life.
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- By Michael Swaim, Jack O'Brien
- Published
6 Amazing Badasses History Books Don't Tell You About
Two years ago we told you the tales of some of the most badass people lost to the annals of history.
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- By Michael Swaim, Alex Schmidt, Carmen Angelica, Tom Reimann, Jack O'Brien, J.F. Sargent
- Published
15 Movies Completely Changed From An Alternate Perspective
Most disaster movies make cannon fodder out of almost every single living person on the planet who isn't a president, a fighter pilot, or the one scientist who has the key to solving the alien/meteor/whatever problem.
Why All Your Favorite Movies Are About The Apocalypse
From 'Mad Max' to 'San Andreas' to 'The Avengers,' the most popular movies of our times are about how we fear our world will end.
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- By Michael Swaim, Alex Schmidt, Jack O'Brien
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Inexplicable Movie Tropes That Make No Sense
Our main bread and butter at Cracked is pointing out the little things in movies that either brainwash our society as a whole or are just simply so overused that they annoy the bloody hell out of us.
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- By Soren Bowie, Jack O'Brien, Cody Johnston, Michael Swaim, Daniel O'Brien
- Published
A Genealogy Of Modern Fear
If you turn on the TV or scroll through Facebook for any short period of time, it seems like we're consumed with fear.
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- By Kristi Harrison, Jack O'Brien, Michael Swaim
- Published
Great Movie Sequels That Don't Exist
If you recall the 2006 movie 'The Prestige,' you'll remember the plot is roughly about how 2 Batmen fight an army of Wolverines created by David Bowie.
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- By Daniel O'Brien, Soren Bowie, Michael Swaim, Jack O'Brien
- Published
Why The Black-Blue/White Gold Dress is Reality's Sorting Hat
Our senses are about as trustworthy Brian Williams' war memoirs.
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- By Jason Pargin, Jack O'Brien, Michael Swaim
- Published
13 Crazy Fan Theories the Internet Invented
As we've previously covered on the site, before JK Rowling had even finished the 'Harry Potter' books, an interesting fan theory started popping up on Potterverse fansites.
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- By Michael Swaim, Daniel O'Brien, Jack O'Brien, Adam Tod Brown, Soren Bowie, Alex Schmidt, Cody Johnston
- Published
Tiny Mistakes & Dumb Lies That Shaped Huge Parts of History
We've all heard about the butterfly effect: a butterfly flaps its wings in one part of the world, and weeks later that results in a hurricane somewhere else.
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- By Jack O'Brien, Michael Swaim, Daniel O'Brien
- Published
6 Reasons You're Picturing the Post-Apocalypse Wrong
In October, Cracked sent four of its most expendable out to spend a weekend at Slab City -- a place that exists without water, electricity, or laws.
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- By Robert Evans, Michael Swaim, David Christopher Bell, J.F. Sargent, Rene Cajelo
- Published
4 Mind Blowing Thought Experiments Hidden in Movies
Last year, Christopher Nolan's 'Interstellar' took advantage of some of the most up-to-date quantum theory we've got, and wove in a story about space travel, time, and relativity.
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- By Jack O'Brien, Soren Bowie, Michael Swaim
- Published
7 Emails That Prove Space Travel Will Suck in the Future
We narrowly averted disaster this time. I've asked my support crew to look into the matter and issue me some reports on the incident.
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- By Michael Swaim
- Published
The Drunken Wisdom of Harry Potter
Because if LOTR taught us anything, it's that wizards in chemically altered states have all the answers.
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- By Michael Swaim, Abe Epperson
- Published
21 Easter Eggs Hidden in 'Welcome Back, Potter'
They say there's no surer way to ruin a joke than by explaining it. Luckily, I'm terrible at what I do and a complete rebel that no one wants to step to.
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- By Michael Swaim, Abe Epperson, Cracked Writers
- Published