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By:: Brian C. Miller; Cracked Writers

July 25, 2023

31 New Technologies That Have Actually Been Around Forever

We think we're pretty fancy these days with our fancy picture boxes, folding computing boxes, and you know, all those other kinds of fancy boxes that are turning our brains into mush. But in reality, many of the things that we believe were invented in modern times have been around a lot longer than we think. Did you know that the first submarine was actually invented in the 1600s? That the first computer program ran on a computer that didn’t even have a screen? That cinematic universes go as far back as the 1940s with the Universal monsters?

What we can take away from all of this is that some day, in the future, when people are feeling so advanced with short-form content, we can laugh and say, “We called that TikTok, and it was terrible.”

29 3-D Movies

THE FIRST 3-D MOVIE PREMIERED IN 1920. The Power of Love was the first 3-D movie for a commercial audience, but the film is now lost. CRACKED.COM — Source: 'Recent' Things That're Actually Older Than Dirt

28 Rap Music

Rap can be traced back to the 1920s and 1930s. For over 100 years or more, the technique of rapping has been around in many American musical genres. Surprisingly, those include ragtime, vaudeville, and religious songs. CRACKED.COM — Source: 23 'Modern' Things That Are JUST. SO. OLD.

27 Electric Vehicles

Think your new Tesla is a modern idea? Think again. The first crude electric vehicle was invented in the 1830s, and America's first electric car was built in 1891. CRACKED COM — Source: 23 'Modern' Things That Are JUST. SO. OLD.

26 Concerns about Fossil Fuels

CRACKED.COM The Governmenttrying to cut down fossil fuel emissions to the atmosphere? It dates back to 1307, when Edward I tried to ban blacksmiths from using coal. — Source: 23 'Modern' Things That Are JUST. SO. OLD.

25 20-Sided Dice

You may think that the A 14 8 10 20-sided die 2 20 91 8 has only been around as long as L ungeons & Dragons... but similar polyhedra dating to as far back as Ancient or Egypt have been found. Although it is thought that they were most likely used in Divination, ancient tabletop gaming remains a possiblity. GRACKED.COM — Source: 23 'Modern' Things That Are JUST. SO. OLD.

24 "Frienemies"

The word Frienemies Was actually a term coined in the 50s to describe the US/Soviet relationship. CRACKED.COM — Source: 23 'Modern' Things That Are JUST. SO. OLD.

23 Vending Machines

A. A P VENDING MACHINES R к WERE DESIGNED IN 1 L &I к THE 1ST CENTURY. Hero of Alexandria created a machine that dispensed holy water after a coin was inserted. CRACKED.COM — Source: 'Recent' Things That're Actually Older Than Dirt

22 Rollerskating

ROLLERSKATING DATES BACK TO THE 1760S. John Joseph Merlin debuted his invention during a masquerade, where he proceeded to crash into a giant mirror. CRACKED.COM — Source: 'Recent' Things That're Actually Older Than Dirt

21 Animation

ANIMATION DATES BACK TO THE PALEOLITHIC AGE. 21,000 years ago, artists drew rows of cave images that, when lit by flickering firelight, gave the illusion of motion. CRACKED.COM — Source: 'Recent' Things That're Actually Older Than Dirt

20 Hoodies

No. are shower-proof in the hood and are at be thrown back it HOODIES HAVE may Has two mash pockets. tical. NY lar BEEN AROUND an Hooded SINCE THE any 1930S. with 7 a Has lash o-co days. Price No. F115 They were originally made made of heavy V by Champion in the 1930s гд colors. for laborers in cold warehouses in upstate New York. CRACKED.COM — Source: 'Recent' Things That're Actually Older Than Dirt

19 Lighters

Contrary to popular belief, lighters have been around longer than matchsticks. Chemist Johann Wolfgang Döbereiner invented the first lighter in 1823, calling it 'Döbereiner's lamp.' This predates friction matches by three years. CRACKED.COM — Source: 23 'Modern' Things That Are JUST. SO. OLD.

18 Computer Programs

GRACKED COM I The first the computer program 011 was published TU in 1843. Ada Lovelace wrote what is considered the 1 first computer program-to calculate Bernoulli numbers - in notes from a lecture 1 Charles Babbage gave about his Analytical 10 Engine, which would have been the first 1 1001computer if it had been completed. 11111 — Source: 'Recent' Things That're Actually Older Than Dirt

17 Fidget Spinners

THE FIDGET SPINNER FIRST DEBUTED BACK IN 1993, Eng AND THE PATENT FOR IT WAS APPROVED IN 1997. CRACKED.COM — Source: 23 'Modern' Things That Are JUST. SO. OLD.

16 Being Bummed Out By Christmas

Complaining that Christmas has become too commercialized has been going on since the 1800's, or when Christmas as we know it was started. TAKE ADVICE FROM SANTA CLAUS AND GETA GOOD There are worlds of SUPPLY OF money wasted, at this time of year, in getting things that nobody wants, and nobody cares for after they are got. LUNDBORG'S ...it's a pity that you had PERFUMES not such a subject to FORSALE EVERYWHERE practice on as I was when I was a girl. Presents did not fly about in those days as they do now. -Harriet Beecher Stowe, Christmas; or, — Source: 23 'Modern' Things That Are JUST. SO. OLD.

15 Submarines

THE FIRST WORKING SUBMARINE DATES BACK TO THE 1620S. Cornelius van Drebbel created a modified rowboat that went 15 feet underwater. However, no plans or drawings survived so historians aren't sure how it worked. CRACKED.COM — Source: 'Recent' Things That're Actually Older Than Dirt

14 Brain Surgery

BRAIN SURGERY HAS BEEN AROUND SINCE THE NEOLITHIC PERIOD. Archeologists have found holes intentionally carved by instruments into skulls. Some have edges of healing visible, meaning that the prehistoric humans survived the surgery. CRACKED.COM — Source: 'Recent' Things That're Actually Older Than Dirt

13 Cinematic Universes

EXPANDED CINEMATIC UNIVERSES HAVE BEEN AROUND SINCE THE 1940S. Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man was the first movie in a series of monster crossovers, including Abott and Costello Meet Frankenstein. CRACKED.COM — Source: 'Recent' Things That're Actually Older Than Dirt

12 Bottled Water

THE COMMERCIAL SALE OF BOTTLED WATER STARTED IN 1767. Bottled water was sold by Jackson's Spa in Boston. Early drinkers believed the bottled mineral water had therapeutic properties. CRACKED.COM — Source: 'Recent' Things That're Actually Older Than Dirt

11 The Swiss Army Knife

This is a 2000 year old Swiss Army Knife. Made by the Romans, it has a knife, spoon and fork, a toothpick, spatula, and a spike. GRAGKED.COM — Source: 23 'Modern' Things That Are JUST. SO. OLD.

10 Unmanned Drones

CRACKED.COM Unmanned Aerial Vehicles (UAVs) = a 21st century invention? Nope! ORCE The Kettering Bug is an unmanned biplane that can hit targets from 75 miles away. It was invented in 1918. — Source: 23 'Modern' Things That Are JUST. SO. OLD.

9 Condoms

CRACKED.COM Condoms have been used as protection against disease since the 1500s. And while they didn't have the option of ribbed or extra sensitive contraceptives, a syphilis outbreak provided enough reason for Gabrielle Fallopius in 1594 to come up with a chemical soaked linen cloth to prevent further spreading of the disease. — Source: 23 'Modern' Things That Are JUST. SO. OLD.

8 Vape Pens

Vape pens have been around since the 1960s. In 1963, Herbert A. Gilbert invented a smokeless, electronic cigarette, but never made it widely commercially available. CRACKED.COM — Source: 23 'Modern' Things That Are JUST. SO. OLD.

7 Fast Food

ANCIENT ROMANS LOVED THEIR FAST FOOD. Over 2000 years ago, Romans had thermopolia, take-out counters where hot food was served. In Pompeii alone, there were over 150 thermopolia. CRACKED.COM — Source: 'Recent' Things That're Actually Older Than Dirt

6 Flamethrowers

Hраюбе work ТОЛ FLAMETHROWERS WERE CREATED IN THE 7TH CENTURY. Byzatines used Greek fires in naval battles. They were especially useful because the fire would continue to burn while floating on water. CRACKED.COM — Source: 'Recent' Things That're Actually Older Than Dirt

5 Chewing Gum

THE OLDEST PIECE OF GUM IS OVER 9000 YEARS OLD. The gum was made out of resin and sweetened with honey. Archeologists believe it was chewed by a teenager. CRACKED.COM — Source: 'Recent' Things That're Actually Older Than Dirt

4 "Real" Cop Shows

CRACKED.COM Long before COPS, there was a 1954 radio program called NIGHT WATCH, which was a ride-along with the L.A. police. POLICE not NIGHT WATCH was gritty, even by today's standards, with suicides, child abandonment, and, in one episode, the reporter getting stabbed. — Source: 23 'Modern' Things That Are JUST. SO. OLD.

3 Smartphones

The first smartphone was released in 1994. 12 - - Z VIA Class - - BUK the PM SUG This to Her - une A.K. 3 2 F - - - 5 J 6 4 Вимош E WORLD PRO G daas GU 0 7 II O E 311 Korea Cool The IBM Simon had a Photo Last 12 Page Chear Quick touchscreen, a variety of Here Please Die Painte apps, and even predictive typing, beating the iPhone Simon by 13 years. From BELLSOUTH Designed by ISM CRACKED.com — Source: 23 'Modern' Things That Are JUST. SO. OLD.

2 Music Videos

Music videos are 20 years older than MTV. S CINEMATIC 50 They were made for the 1960s fad Scopitone, a jukebox that could play video. CRACKED.COM — Source: 23 'Modern' Things That Are JUST. SO. OLD.

1 3D Printing

The idea of 3D printing is over 150 years old. Photosculpture by François Willème from 1865. And printers that could pull it off were invented three decades ago. In 1986, Chuck Hull patented the method of manufacturing called stereolithography. CRACKED.COM — Source: 23 'Modern' Things That Are JUST. SO. OLD.

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