Cracked Archive - Sex

7 Terrifying Things They Don't Tell You About Pregnancy

Thanks to sitcoms, romantic comedies and our mother's cuss-filled horror stories, we all know pregnancy is no walk in the park. In fact, pregnancy can cause some horrible, horrible things, like inny belly buttons temporarily turning into outies and ugly-people-making. Not to mention this stuff.

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By Sara J., Tracy V.
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July 13, 2011

The 7 Sleaziest Mating Rituals in the Animal Kingdom

Mating among animals and insects is no less complicated than it is among humans. It's all about being devious, and when it comes to sex, even the lowest of life forms have mastered the art of trickery, deceit and blackmail.

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By Jonathan Wojcik
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July 07, 2011

It's Surprisingly Easy to Accidentally Pick Up a Prostitute

By Daniel O'Brien
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July 01, 2011

The Right Way To Teach Teens About Sex

By Soren Bowie
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June 27, 2011

I Am Sorry About Sending You a Picture of My Penis

By Chris Bucholz
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June 14, 2011

5 Sleazy Strategies for Turning Any Movie Date Into Sex

How to make the transition from passively enjoying entertainment next to your companion, to actively enjoying entertainment inside her? This question has plagued sensitive young men for years. And sometimes it's just a few simple words that separate post-celluloid sex from rejection.

By Gladstone
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June 11, 2011

The 5 Least Romantic Keys to a Happy Relationship

These tips won't win you love, but they sure will keep you in love.

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By Kathy Benjamin
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June 08, 2011

The 7 Craziest Things Ever Done to Get Laid

Men have gone above and beyond the call of duty -- risking life, limb and country in the name of boobies.

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The Bad Drunk's Guide to Partying [FLOWCHART]

It's not enough to merely suck. The obnoxious drunk knows he must suck at ear splitting volumes.

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By S.D
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May 15, 2011

How to Be a Good Husband During 'Lady Times' [COMIC]

It's our duty as men.

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By Scott Meyer
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May 14, 2011

Cooking For Your Nemesis

It's easy to recognize your nemesis (it's the one close friend you have who you probably once seriously contemplated murdering), but how do you cook for your nemesis in a way that forces him/her to acknowledge their laughable inadequacies?

By Daniel O'Brien
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May 13, 2011

4 Romantic Books to Disgust and Annoy Your Lover

Seanbaby proves beyond any shadow of a doubt, that romance guru and best-selling author of '1001 Ways to be Romantic', Gregory J.P. Godek is the stupidest, laziest waste of stem cells to ever 'write' a book.