Cracked Archive - Sex

The 7 Most Terrifying Rejected TV Ads

When directors audition, they don't obey standards & practices.


5 Things That Are Totally Unrelated to Hot, Hot Lesbian Sex

Finally, an article that has nothing to do with lesbians, and the many awesome ways they have sex with one another.


7 Terrifying Things They Don't Tell You About Pregnancy

Thanks to sitcoms, romantic comedies and our mother's cuss-filled horror stories, we all know pregnancy is no walk in the park. In fact, pregnancy can cause some horrible, horrible things, like inny belly buttons temporarily turning into outies and ugly-people-making. Not to mention this stuff.


The 7 Sleaziest Mating Rituals in the Animal Kingdom

Mating among animals and insects is no less complicated than it is among humans. It's all about being devious, and when it comes to sex, even the lowest of life forms have mastered the art of trickery, deceit and blackmail.


5 Sleazy Strategies for Turning Any Movie Date Into Sex

How to make the transition from passively enjoying entertainment next to your companion, to actively enjoying entertainment inside her? This question has plagued sensitive young men for years. And sometimes it's just a few simple words that separate post-celluloid sex from rejection.


The 5 Least Romantic Keys to a Happy Relationship

These tips won't win you love, but they sure will keep you in love.


The 7 Craziest Things Ever Done to Get Laid

Men have gone above and beyond the call of duty -- risking life, limb and country in the name of boobies.


The Bad Drunk's Guide to Partying [FLOWCHART]

It's not enough to merely suck. The obnoxious drunk knows he must suck at ear splitting volumes.


How to Be a Good Husband During 'Lady Times' [COMIC]

It's our duty as men.


Cooking For Your Nemesis

It's easy to recognize your nemesis (it's the one close friend you have who you probably once seriously contemplated murdering), but how do you cook for your nemesis in a way that forces him/her to acknowledge their laughable inadequacies?


4 Romantic Books to Disgust and Annoy Your Lover

Seanbaby proves beyond any shadow of a doubt, that romance guru and best-selling author of '1001 Ways to be Romantic', Gregory J.P. Godek is the stupidest, laziest waste of stem cells to ever 'write' a book.