Cracked Archive - News

The 5 Easiest Ways to Ruin Any Vacation

Any vacation can be undone by an ill-timed malady.


The 4 Most Weirdly Outdated Corporate Policies

It's so baffling that some of the biggest corporations are still stubbornly adhering to policies that should have been phased out years, if not decades ago.


4 Things We Should Remember When Arguing About Politics

Political discourse in America has reached levels of douchebaggery previously only theorized about but never observed, like conversational dark matter.


The 4 Greatest Things in Comedy (Everyone Misunderstands)

We all love things that bring us pain.


6 Products in Your Bathroom You Won't Believe Don't Work

You're going to feel a bit icky after this article.


5 Clearly Fake News Stories The Media Told You Were True

Apparently, The media doesn't always have time for such time-consuming practices as 'fact checking' and 'thinking about this for a moment to work out if it sounds idiotic.'


The Pope's Last Day of Work

'WHEEEEEEEEEEE!' the pope cried gaily, using that adjective for the first time in his professional career.


5 Easy Ways to Spot a B.S. News Story on the Internet

Most of the time, we don't need somebody else to debunk these stories for us, not if you know what to look for. For instance, this stuff should always raise red flags .


The 8 Greatest Wars Ever Fought by Fox News

Here are some of the greatest military campaigns ever fought by this fair and balanced army.


5 Obnoxious Things That Won't Go Away in 2013

You can be a huge success and not be smart, just as you can be an incredibly gifted failure. For every Ke$ha, there are a thousand girls blowing their wood shop teacher for a passing grade so they can cut class who never amount to anything.


How a Movie from the '90s Predicted the 2012 Election

I wanted to write this piece now, because it involves looking back on the election, and it's way more effective to understand something after it happens, not while it's happening. My goal is to put the 2012 election into context, but not historical context; movie context.


Why the Rapper from 'Friday' and 'Thanksgiving' Is Evil

He strikes again and he must be stopped at all costs.


Excerpts from My Erotic Novel About My Co-Workers

November is National Novel Writing Month, and I'm aiming for a more tangible prize than a 400KB document cluttering up my hard drive. I want some goddamn money.


The 3 Worst Side Effects of Every Presidential Election

I am just nuts about presidential campaigns and elections. They're exciting, and crazy, and interesting, and important(ish). What I hate is everything else that seems to surround every modern election.


4 Reasons We've Stopped Trusting the Media

OR: 4 Reasons You're Not Going To Believe Any Of These 4 Reasons