5

The Human Chop Shop

Eli Roth's Hostel was effective not because it had skyscraper-sized monsters or an indestructible killer with a mask and a machete, but because being lured into a torturous trap by beautiful and exotic women is much more plausible. That scene wherein "the Butcher" is seen doing the grunt work of severed limb disposal is especially disconcerting, as it's hard to imagine someone whose work revolves entirely around the sorting and handling of mutilated human appendages.

LionsgateSeen here, in what is somehow the least disgusting still of this character.

At least the Butcher had the decency to get rid of all the gory incriminating evidence, unlike Arizona company Biological Resource Center, which was accused of grossly mishandling human remains. Businesses like these, which can be rather profitable if you have the stomach for it, are also known as "body brokers." They accept donated human limbs from the recently deceased and then offer up the hands, arms, legs, or whatever on the open market, for purposes one can only hope are nonsexual. Shockingly, there's very little regulation involved. The deceased's relatives are told that their contribution will further the cause of science, but the only science going on at the Arizona facility seemed to be a test of the strength of the average FBI agent's stomach.

KNXV-TVAt least the Butcher had the decency not to solicit donations.

4

The Motel Owner Who Cut Holes In The Ceiling To Watch People

Ah, the good old days, when staying a night or two at a family-owned motel meant a homey atmosphere, prompt service, and a ready smile. It was a time when a man's handshake was his bond -- and occasionally a bit sticky because he spent the morning jerking off while spying on you in your room.

Gay Talese/The Denver Post"Hey, I clean my hands first! What do you think these wet wipes are for?!"

3

The Old Man In A Sleepy Country Town Who "Came Down With Dementia"

"This is one of the happiest moments of my life," retired English professor Peter Farquhar wrote in 2014. "Gone are the fears of dying alone." The 66-year-old had just held a commitment ceremony with his lover, a 26-year-old former student named Ben Field, who moved to live with Farquhar in the little retirement village of Maids Moreton. A loving relationship between two people of wildly different ages about to settle down and enjoy what seems to be an idyllic existence? This can only mean some horror movie shit is about to go down.

Sure enough, it soon appeared that Farquhar's mental condition was deteriorating. He forgot appointments, misplaced items, left his keys in the fridge, and found a secret diary in which Field wrote of his fears that his partner was suffering from dementia. But that was only the beginning. Farquhar also started seeing messages written on bathroom mirrors, which vanished before he could show anyone, and then started to experience terrifying hallucinations, including swarms of "hideous black insects" coming toward him. His life with Field was turning into a Stephen King novel -- and that wasn't a coincidence.

There was nothing wrong with Farquhar. It was the inappropriately young lover and his magician sidekick Martyn Smith (never trust a magician, or a man who spells his name "Martyn") behind it all. They were writing messages on the mirrors and then erasing them, hiding his keys, and "reminding" him of things that never happened. Field even wrote a fake diary listing the old man's "symptoms" and left it for him to find. He also spiked Farquahar's toast and tea with hallucinogens, and slipped raw alcohol into his whisky, the latter of which eventually killed the older man.

2

The Man Killed By A Pack Of Wild Dogs In A Residential Neighborhood

You see a lot of sharks, alligators, and Leonardo-DiCaprio-flinging bears as toothy antagonists in movies, but dogs? Not so much. Wolves will make an appearance now and again, but the only domesticated dog that really succeeded as a cinematic villain (or hero, if you're a member of the rabid community) was a filthy St. Bernard.

Warner Bros. PicturesAren't asthmatic children named "Tad" really nature's Milk Bones?

1

The Diet Pills Made Of People

Food made of human flesh is the grotesque plot twist of both Soylent Green and Sweeney Todd, but at least those evil corporations and dandy drama queens were nourishing people. When a Korean company started selling consumable fetal tissue, it was in the form of a pill that boasted weight-loss and stamina-boosting properties. It was all of the cannibalism with none of the calories.

It was a fairly simple business model: Operatives positioned in hospitals would report back whenever a stillborn or sizable abortion took place, abscond with the goods, and take them home for treatment in the baby-drying machine, which pulverized the flesh into a supposedly miraculous powder. What could go wrong? Well, Korean customs, for one thing. They stopped 17,500 of the pills coming into the country from China between 2011 and 2012. So ... there are a ton of reasons not to take diet pills, you guys.

E. Reid Ross has a book called BIZARRE WORLD that's on store shelves as we speak, or you could just order it now from Amazon or Barnes and Noble and leave a scathing/glowing review. Christian Markle wants you to check out these cute comic strips.

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