5 Backwards Companies Who Think It's The Fifties

And so the Astros issued a statement that, uh, called the story "misleading and completely irresponsible," and accused Apstein of attempting to "fabricate a story where one does not exist." Yes, the Astros looked at Trump's "fake news" screeds and thought, "We should emulate this popular and well-respected man." The ploy worked for all of three days, until piles of witnesses came forward to corroborate Apstein's account and the Astros were forced to fire Taubman and finally issue an apology, all while looking much stupider than would have if they had just owned up in the first place. But at least that was the last mark against the franchise ... until a couple of months later, when they were caught in baseball's biggest cheating scandal since goddamn 1919.

B&H disputed these claims, but this wasn't the first time they'd been accused of having policies that would make any Confederate-flag-wielding customers proud. In 2007 they paid a $4.3 million settlement after a suit accused them of underpaying Hispanic workers and basing promotions and health benefits on "national origin." In 2009 they were sued for discriminating against women. And in 2011 they were sued over their treatment of Hispanic workers again, because apparently that 2007 settlement came with the condition that they wouldn't have to reflect on their actions in any way.

Even with this impressive history, segregated bathrooms felt like a new low, and a 2017 settlement segregated B&H from 3.2 million of their dollars. And that was that ... until 2019, when they were accused of failing to pay $7 million in sales taxes. Jesus Christ, isn't there anywhere else in New York to go for camera equipment?

Women were asked to rate their masculine and feminine traits, with the former including "athletic, self-sufficient, and leadership abilities" while the latter had "childlike, gullible, and yielding" (women of course famously lack object permanence). A list of "Invisible Rules" for women suggested that they not talk too much, interrupt men, or God forbid, challenge their ideas. Women were also told that their brains were smaller and "absorb information like pancakes soak up syrup so it's hard for them to focus. Men's brains are more like waffles. They're better able to focus because the information collects in each little waffle square." But don't get hysterical, ladies! Your head isn't really full of syrup, it was only a metaphor!

If you squint real hard, you can maybe see an attempt at "Here's the shit you'll have to put up with in a male-dominated industry," but the seminar was written like its creator's only experience with an office was binging Mad Men. There was no talk about how to challenge and overcome these stereotypes, with the information instead being presented as rules they'd better not break if they wanted to fit in. One participant left feeling like she wouldn't be successful if she didn't play into the cliches, while another walked away feeling "like a piece of meat."

So now's probably a good time to mention that in 2013, an EY employee rejected a 2 a.m. overture for drinks and thrilling opportunities to take clients to strip clubs, after which she was told she was "being perceived as a bitch." But according to her supervisor she at least also had "great big round boobs" and a "nice ass." A 2015 complaint led to embittered EY bros starting a campaign to get her fired, all of which culminated in a legal battle in which EY's office culture came out looking inferior to the progressive paradise of Saudi Aramco. So yeah, their "Here's How You Uppity Dames Should Act" initiative was somehow an improvement.

Not seeing the problem? Let's try a side by side.

Yeah, they (accidentally?) made a blackface shirt. The chorus of disapproval was led by Myles himself, and it wasn't a great look for a company that had recently rehired Hulk "Whatcha Gonna Do When The Racial Slurs Run Wild?" Hogan the previous year. The shirt was never sold, and the WWE hastily whipped up a Space Jam ripoff alternative, but the damage was done. A bitter public argument ensued, Myles left for an independent wrestling circuit, and the WWE was left looking like clueless assholes. No one won! It's a metaphor!

Michael Battaglino is a contributor to Cracked.com. Be sure to check out some of his other work if you enjoyed this article.

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