Cracked Archive - News
New Monolith Spotted in California, Quickly Destroyed By ET-Dissing Right-Wing Vandals
This is why we can't have nice things.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
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42
42 To Save Lives, Let's Move Christmas To July
#MoveXmasToJuly isn't just about a safer holiday; it's about a better holiday.
- Authors
- By Jason Pargin
- Published
- Comments
- 46
The Obamas To Produce Comedy Series Roasting Trump's Sheer Incompetence
*grabs popcorn*
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
- 38
Harry Styles Roasts Pundits For Their Pointless Tantrums On Men In Dresses
Revenge is as sweet as a 'Watermelon Sugar High' for the former One Direction singer.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
- 77
Weed Isn't That Bad, United Nations Rules
From hitting shoes to hitting bongs?
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
- 25
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Another Mysterious Monolith Randomly Appears, Vanishes in Romania
At this point, it's got to be aliens.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
- 16
'Umbrella Academy' Star Elliot Page Comes Out As Transgender
Longtime LGBTQAI+ icon, Elliot Page, came out as transgender and non-binary.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
- 156
So Where Are We On Legal Weed?
We have tipped the bong on America's outlook for legal marijuana.
- Authors
- By Max Mitchem
- Published
- Comments
- 38
Update: That Mysterious Utah Monolith Has Now Mysteriously Disappeared
This is definitely on brand for 2020.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
- 10
6 Helping Hands From Groups You May Not Expect
Sometimes the people helping you out are the ones you didn't even think of asking.
- Authors
- By Chris Corlew
- Published
- Comments
- 43
You Can Now Email A Literal Dumpster Fire Emblazoned with '2020'
A new way to air your grievances ... just in time for Festivus!
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
- 6
Breaking: 'Clifford the Big Red Dog' is a Big Red Dog, Terrifies The Internet
Come on, did we not learn anything from the whole 'Sonic the Hedgehog' fiasco?
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
- 27
Grow-Your-Own Human Meat Meal Kit 'Technically' Not Cannibalism, Makers Say
Yum?
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
- 17
Mysterious Monolith Spotted In Southern Utah Wilderness
And yes, they touched it. Repeatedly.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
- 23
Twitter, Facebook Will Transfer Donald Trump's POTUS Accounts to Joe Biden
The end is finally near!
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
- 40
