Cracked Archive - News

Cops Allegedly Detain Fast Food Workers For Not Giving Them Free Burgers
Well, I guess that's one way to get arrested ...
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- By Carly Tennes
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25
Reminder: Baha Men Banger 'Who Let The Dogs Out' Is A Secret Feminist Banger
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- By Carly Tennes
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11
7 Weird Details About That 'Mummy Cult' In The News
"Cult" is not a word to be thrown around lightly, but Love Has Won definitely checks off all of the boxes.
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- By Dan Fritschie
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10
Lorde's New Single 'Solar Power' Was Likely Inspired By Larry David's Vacation Home
Lorde Your Enthusiasm?
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- By Carly Tennes
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7
Ding-Dong Central Revs Up Over A Cicada On Biden's Shoulder
(cicada) screams internally.
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- By Carly Tennes
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15
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Velma Is East Asian In Mindy Kaling's New Scooby-Doo Spinoff, And Racists Are Being Crybabies About It
Ugh.
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- By Carly Tennes
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68
How Scientology Allegedly Tried To Take Over A City In Florida
Oh dear Xenu.
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- By Zanandi Botes
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8
Attorney General Garland Says Investigating How ProPublica Obtained Billionaire Tax Data Is 'At The Top Of My List'
Priorities!
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- By Carly Tennes
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23
At Least 13 Indonesian McDonalds Locations Forced To Shutter Due To Popularity of BTS Meal
Fans may have a little too much love for the Boy(s) With Luv.
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- By Carly Tennes
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14
Texas Rep. Asks If Government Agencies Can Change The Orbit of The Earth, The Moon, To Solve Climate Change
Uhhhhh, I don't think that's how that works.
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- By Carly Tennes
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35
The New York Times Accidentally Publishes Story About Watermelons Growing On Mars
I want to believe ... in Martian fruit.
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- By Carly Tennes
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2
Newsmax Says They Have No Plans To Hire Controversy-Embroiled Rep. Matt Gaetz
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- By Carly Tennes
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19
Crocs Heels Are Now Apparently A Thing, Thanks to Balenciaga
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- By Carly Tennes
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5
Chicken Sandwich Wars: Burger King Trolls Chick-Fil-A With Pride Month Chicken Sandwich Donation
Ahhh, the good 'ol chicken sandwich wars.
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- By Carly Tennes
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38
Marjorie Taylor Greene Apparently Doesn't Know That June Has 30 Days
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- By Carly Tennes
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48