One day I woke up and realized that I was still young. My plan was to spend my days on this planet writing a long-form confessional piece about myself, but I noticed that my readers were beginning to think that I was only talking about myself when I did something that was not as funny or interesting as it seemed at the time. This led to a number of changes in my plans, including: 1. Instead of writing a long-form confession, I decided to make a list of strange and entertaining facts, with my personal feelings and opinions about those things hidden under a veneer of irony and humor. 2. I decided to keep the title of the list general, so that the title could be changed if necessary, instead of trying to guess what my personal feelings would be about any particular subject. 3. I decided that it would be easier to enjoy this list of interesting facts if it had no real beginning and no real ending, but was a seemingly endless list of items, instead of having a single, linear story line. Anyway, enjoy!

A sculpture of Chief Crazy Horse is being carved 17 miles from Mount Rushmore.

Another gigantic sculpture is being carved just miles from Mount Rushmore. A sculpture is being carved in the Black Hills, showing Native Chief Cra- zy Horse on his steed, pointing east. The con- struction started in 1948 and will take another 50 years to be completed. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW

USA Today

Orcas and Australian whalers worked cooperatively.

A pod of orcas hunted cooperatively with early Australian whalers under a law of the tongue. The orcas would corral and locate baleen whales in re- turn for the tongues and lips of captured whales. The arrangement ended when one of the orcas was accidentally killed. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW

SMH

Waluigi was created just to be Wario’s tennis partner.

Waluigi wasn't actually created by Nintendo. Не was created by Camelot designer Fumihide Aoki solely for the purpose of be- ing Wario's duos part- ner/Luigi's rival in Mario Tennis N64. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW

Game Crate

’The Desert Vampire’ was an Iranian serial killer.

There was an Iranian serial killer called The Desert Vampire. Mohammed Bijeh tricked boys into going to the des- ert by telling them that they were going hunting, where he would kill and bury them in shallow graves. Не was flogged 100 times and exe- cuted in 2005. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW

BBC

Cyclists during the 1990’s took so many steroids they were at risk of heart attacks as they slept.

Cyclists in the early '90s Tour De France that were on steroids had to exercise through the night. BMC The cyclists took so much EPOs (Erythropoi- etin) that if they let their bodies rest they would have heart at- tacks during the night while they slept. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW

New Yorker

A computer virus lead to a man turning himself into the police.

A man turned himself in to the police after a computer virus told him to pay a fine or risk investigation. 020N AND LIKE M.K. MAKOWSKI Matthew Riley believed the message was from the FBI, so he took his computer to the police, where they found inappropriate pho- tos and communications with an underage girl. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW

ARS Technica

The Powerpuff Girls used to be the Whoopass Girls.

The 'Powerpuff Girls' were the creator's sophomore project at CalArts, and were originally 'Whoopass Stew! Craig McCracken was al- ready making shorts of But- tercup, Bubbles, and Blos- som in school, but at that time they were known as the 'Whoopass' Girls who were made with a can of Whoo- pass instead of Chemical-X. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW

Designium

Charcoal beetles fly into burning forest fires.

Some beetles seek out forest fires to reproduce. Charcoal beetles fly into still-burning forest fires to mate and lay eggs because competition and predators will be low. They sense dis- tant fires using infrared armpit sensors. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW

Bay Nature

Vacations were introduced by William the Conqueror.

William the Conqueror introduced the concept of a vacation. William introduced a custom to the United Kingdom where people would leave their homes and move to a summer home to aid the grape harvest. The custom was called a vacation be- cause people vacated their homes. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW

Vine Street

Magic Johnson was the only rookie to win NBA FInals MVP.

Magic Johnson won an NBA title for multiple positions. X In the 1980 NBA Finals, Magic took over for Ка- reem Abdul-Jabbar as cen- ter, switching off to play guard and forward as well. Не became the only rookie to win the NBA Finals MVP award. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW

NBA

Turns out, quarantine is super effective.

American Samoa suffered no flu deaths during the 1918 pandemic because they quarantined. Governor John Martin Poy- er quarantined the territo- ry during the influenza pandemic after hearing news reports of worldwide deaths on the radio. Не re- ceived the Navy Cross for his actions. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW

Source

Nickelodeons were 5 cent theaters.

Nickelodeon was a term used for early movie theaters. An odeon was any building used for live entertainment in an- cient Greece and Rome. A nickelode- on was a theater that cost a nickel to enter. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW

Britannica

Doctors thought working out at a fitness club would decrease sex drive in the ‘30s.

Doctors warned against Jack LaLanne's health and fitness club in 1936. Doctors warned their ра- tients that LaLanne was an exercise 'nut,' whose programs would make them muscle-bound, cause heart attacks and a loss of sex drive. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW

NY Times

Don’t feed bread to birds.

You should not feed bread to birds. Bread is not a natural source of food for birds and provides little to no nutritional value. Malnutri- tion can cause diseases and deformities such as Angel Wings, which pre- vent the bird from flying. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW

Huffington Post

Rachel Weisz kept changing her name in her early career.

Rachel Weisz kept accidentally changing her name to sound like she was a porn actress. Weisz changed the spelling of her last name to 'Vice,' but her agent said that it sound- ed like a porn name. She then went with 'Vyce,' then 'Kenya Campbell,' later admitting that that too sounded like a porn name. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW

Hollywood

Prairie dogs have their own call to describe a man with a gun.

Prairie dogs have a sophisticated method of communication. They have such a complex means of broadcasting that they can embed de- scriptions of predators within their calls, and even have a specific call to de- scribe a man with a gun. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW

MNN

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