Cracked Archive - Celebrities

The Shocking Truth Behind Justin Bieber Brand Nail Polish

Here at Cracked, perched atop our commitment to fabricated journalism like some kind of hilarious raven, we wondered if there was more to this whole nail polish thing. And, after a bit of fabrication, it turns out there was.


The Monster Inside of Mario Lopez: A Warning

I can only hope the writings of a monster might convince you where mine continuously fail.


How to Deal With Jealousy [COMIC]

Especially if it's warranted.


What Andrew WK's Twitter Taught Me About Life

You will never love anything as much as Andrew WK loves partying.



Who Actually Goes to Comic-Con [CHART]

Comic-Con has officially evolved into the Oscars for Hollywood's Hype Machine. Below, a look at who shows up these days, and how they feel about being there ...


The 6 Most Misguided Causes Ever Made Famous by Celebrities

We wouldn't mind if celebrity causes were simply vapid or silly. But sometimes, they're down right evil.


EXTRA! Mario Lopez has no soul!

His face is still frozen in a smile that bespeaks friendly recognition with a slight touch of modesty. His fingernails are piercing my skin.


7 Celebrities Who Had Badass Careers You Didn't Know About

Several people who found fame later in life started out on a much different path. And if you're not still working at the first job you ever got, thank your lucky stars that you're in the same boat. Unless you operated a boat as your first job. Then, well, yeah. Sorry.


If Tiger Woods' Apology Was Honest

It is a hard, lonely and, yes, ass-filled world.


The 7 Most WTF Post-Fame Celebrity Careers

Not all celebrities leave the limelight kicking and screaming. Some merely flip fame the bird and pursue new, absolutely random forms of employment.


Where Aren't They Now? 13 Overlooked Deaths of 2009

At least they made a Cracked list in their final act.


5 Authors More Badass Than The Badass Character They Created

If you look at the authors behind some of the most iconic heroes of all time, you find a writer who's every bit as badass. Not only did these guys insert elements from their actual lives into the stories, they actually toned them down a bit.


7 Beloved Celebrities And The Awful Sh!t You Forgot They Did

If she didn't want Dr. Dre to beat the crap out of her, she should've read the N.W.A. constitution.


6 Cheap Acting Tricks That Fool The Academy Every Time

There comes a time in every major actor's career when they attempt to put the lighthearted comedies and inane chick flicks behind them and tackle a more serious role. The kind of role that will get them the one thing that every Hollywood actor craves: free cocaine. And also an Academy Award nomination.