Please Don't Listen to Joe Rogan

Especially not now.
Please Don't Listen to Joe Rogan

Note: Like most of his spicy takes on health-related topics everything Joe Rogan is about to spit is complete bulls---. Please, please, please, listen to actual health experts, your doctor, and avoid taking dangerous, unsanctioned medications. The Darwin Award is really not one worth winning. 

Well, folks, it seems the inevitable is finally upon us – Joe Rogan, the podcaster and sub-par health expert cosplayer who has spent the entire pandemic spewing bogus bro-science has reportedly contracted Covid-19. Take a moment, reader. Nobody – especially none of the approximately 11 million episode-ly listeners who heard him tout vaccine skepticism and claim mask-wearing is "for bitches" on The Joe Rogan Experience – could have possibly predicted this deeply unexpected diagnosis.

“Throughout the night, I got fevers, sweats, and I knew what was going on,” Rogan recalled in a video posted to Instagram, adding that the virus gave him a headache, and made him feel “very weary" and “just rundown.”

As we grapple with the truly mind-boggling revelation that a man who openly cynical of vaccines and seemingly dismissive of preventative public health measures somehow managed to come down with the 'Rona as the highly-contagious Delta variant sweeps the nation, there is one thing we must remember in these trying times: Joe Rogan is not a doctor and his medical advice – especially when it comes to Covid-19 -- is generally akin to a steaming pile of (apparently wormless) horse s---. 

Although it seems we should have started questioning Rogan's health “expertise" the moment he decided to give himself explosive uber diarrhea,” on an all-meat diet in an attempt to own those pesky vegans (because nothing sticks it to the plant-based quite like giving yourself the runs so badly, you're compelled to compare them to a fire burning at your door) there is no time like the present – especially considering the cocktail of bizarre, doctor dissuaded, medications he's been taking in an attempt to ward off the virus. 

In the video, Rogan, who again, is not a health expert and has heralded dangerous pseudoscience to his platform of millions throughout the entire pandemic, says he "immediately threw the kitchen sink at" his ailment, taking a slew of drugs including a Z-Pak, monoclonal antibodies, a vitamin drip, a steroid called prednisone, and the horse dewormer of the hour, ivermectin, a substance the FDA has warned against

FDA has not approved ivermectin for use in treating or preventing COVID-19 in humans,” the agency said on their website, noting that they “received multiple reports of patients who have required medical support and been hospitalized" after self-medicating with the drug. “Ivermectin tablets are approved at very specific doses for some parasitic worms, and there are topical (on the skin) formulations for head lice and skin conditions like rosacea. Ivermectin is not an anti-viral,” the site continued. Especially because the drug is made for horses, and, well, not humans, the dewormer “can cause serious harm” if taken in large doses. “Never use medications intended for animals on yourself,” the FDA noted. “Ivermectin preparations for animals are very different from those approved for humans.”

Now, I know what some of you may be thinking – “Why should I believe these so-called ‘health experts'? They're just trying to take my freedom and my horse de-worming pills!” Well, fortunately for you, it seems you don't have to – just take it from Rogan himself. 

“I’m not a doctor, I’m a f---ing moron,” Rogan clarified on his podcast back in April after facing backlash for advising young people against getting the Covid-19 vaccine, a misconception health experts have continuously debunked. “I’m not a respected source of information, even for me," he continued. "But I at least try to be honest about what I’m saying.”

So, folks, listen to health officials and Rogan's admission of his own idiocracy -- get vaccinated, wear a mask, consult your doctor for any medical questions, and please, for the love of all that is still good in this world, don't take expert-shunned medication made for horses (but, hey, if you're dead-set on ingesting substances loved by our equine friends, maybe stick to carrots, sugar cubes, and, well, nevermind).

Top Image: The Joe Rogan Experience

For more internet nonsense, follow Carly on Instagram @HuntressThompson_ on TikTok as @HuntressThompson_, and on Twitter @TennesAnyone.

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