Cracked Archive - Celebrities
John Cena Keeps Being A King Amidst All Of This
The beautiful paradox of John Cena is that if everyone acted like John Cena, then we wouldn't need a John Cena in the first place.
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- By Dan Duddy
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14
14 Touring Danny Trejo’s 'Animal Crossing' Island Is Pure Joy
Machete likes to fish.
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- By Luis Prada
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- 8
J.K. Rowling Keeps Picking Fights With The Trans Community
J.K. Rowling really needs to get off Twitter for a spell.
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- By Dan Duddy
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- 126
Sociopathic Influencers Are Posing As Protesters For Likes
#AllLikesMatter
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- By Cedric Voets
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- 27
Was Logan Paul Zapped By A De-Douching Ray?
What is reality at this point?
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- By Archie Grimm
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- 44
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Don't Try To Cover Your Butts Now
Cognitive dissonance at its finest.
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- By Luis Prada
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- 32
John Cusack, Of All People, Got Attacked By Police
And he wasn't the only celeb.
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- By Amanda Mannen
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- 18
Feminism That Doesn't Include Women of Color Is Trash
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- By Archie Grimm
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- 105
Don't Abuse The 'IsOverParty' Twitter Trend, We Need It
Don't be the stan who cried wolf.
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- By Isaac Cabe
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- 43
Aunt Becky's Prison Sentence Is Actually The Perfect Finesse Move
Aunt Becky's lawyers are playing chess, the legal system's playing checkers.
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- By Isaac Cabe
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- 31
Joe Rogan Signs $100 Million Deal With Spotify, Thinks Things Won't Change
I hope Joe Rogan, warts and all, can keep being Joe.
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- By Dan Duddy
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- 45
Lena Dunham Once Again Doesn't Understand Reality
Poppers don't give you the munchies, Lena.
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- By Isaac Cabe
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- 29
Matt Damon Is Living A Fish-Out-Of-Water Comedy In Ireland
They're treating him like a talking dog, and he’s been reacting about the same.
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- By Amanda Mannen
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- 19
Papa John’s TikTok Has Intense Divorced Dad Energy
You'll never guess which animals having sex he immortalized as a two-story statue.
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- By Luis Prada
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- 21
Celebrity Pets Are Hanging On By A Thread
If only the humans could understand.
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- By Isaac Cabe
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- 16
