Fujita's Skull vs. Cro Cop Again We Must Destroy That Which We Love
After engineers designed a needle capable of it, they stitched Fujita's skin back together and he was given a rematch against Cro Cop
. Fujita should win this one, right? I mean, what are the chances that something with almost 100 percent certainty will happen twice? In what took him 29 seconds, Fujita watched the 18 seconds of the first fight carefully and devised the perfect plan to defeat Cro Cop: exactly the same thing. He charged in with takedowns and Cro Cop countered by kneeing him in the head. But instead of taking them with the
of his head, he blocked them with top
of his head. For crashing knee after crashing knee, Cro Cop's giraffe legs were screaming for Fujita's spine to become paralyzed and the fucking thing was too stupid to understand. F.F.S. doesn't work against Cro Cop. Instead of throwing frantic combinations, Cro Cop likes to take his time and throw one big kick that only gets described during a eulogy. You can't tire him out or give him a heart attack by pretending to be his soccer ball. The only thing Fujita's invincibility did for him in this fight was let Cro Cop's knees manufacture cubic zirconium against his forehead until time ran out.
Imagine for a moment that Scooter, the Go-Bot that turns into a scooter, fought the Constructicons. If moments into the fight, they formed Devastator and stomped on him, you'd be surprised at how simple and unsurprising it was. That's what this fight was like. No one could have predicted that every single obvious thing we expected would happen. Fujita's Skull vs. Fedor Emelianenko A New Hope
By this point in his career, the world now knows that Kazuyuki Fujita has only two assets: a clumsy takedown and a forcefield where his brain's reflexes should be. So PRIDE Fighting Championships decided he was ready to take on the best fighter in the world, Fedor Emelianenko. Fight promoters apparently gave up on finding someone who could beat the guy and now they were just using him to conduct further stress tests on Fujita's head. They were sure that Fedor would be the thing to finally crack it open and allow evil scientists to reverse engineer his remains, almost certainly to grow a more durable sex melon and unkillable robots to fuck them. Then Fujita did something that surprised even him-- he almost won! He landed a knee-buckling counter punch that to this day is the closest anyone has come to beating Fedor. In a waste of his body's natural punching bag camouflage, he was about to beat someone by hitting them. Unfortunately, Fedor found a practical solution to Fujita: get behind him, grab his unbreakable head, and yank it the fuck off his body. The official fight records call it a "rear naked choke," but that's like calling Tiananmen Square a wet t-shirt contest. If the ref hadn't stopped him, Fedor was going to take that head home to his spaceship and polish it.