It seems really cool to revisit all of that former joy until you realize that most Nintendo 64 games, and other games that were made for bigger consoles, were never meant to be seen on something as long as your ring finger. They were meant to be seen in an enrapturing television experience as your father sobbed behind you, begging you to play catch. Nintendo does a lot of weird stuff, like creating consoles that our earthly human bodies aren't meant to fully cope with. But they're not holding back on turning all of your favorite games from 1997 into portable 2017 games because they hate your smiles. Outside of licensing issues, they probably hold back because they haven't yet figured out a way to both turn it into something you can play on the subway AND not burn your eyes out of your face in the process.
"It's nice that they gave us GoldenEye, but I'd love it if my pupils weren't bleeding right now."
The same thing goes for when someone shows me a dodgy emulator that they've downloaded on their phones. It might work great (it rarely does), but there's something lost in translating the controls of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas to a touchscreen. Sure, it's technically playable. It's a thing that, if you own thumbs, you can fuck with. But every time it functions in a way that's more underwhelming than you like, it's not because "THIS PIECE OF SHIT PHONE CAN'T EVEN PLAY 2004'S BEST-SELLING PS2 TITLE." It's because, when Rockstar Games was crafting it, they never took the time to sit their employees down and say, "Congratulations on finishing this game. Now, we're going to make it so that in 13 years, people can enjoy it on a device that's mostly meant to receive text messages." And speaking of haphazard attempts to relive nostalgia ...