Bacon is cured pork meat. You use brine or dry pack it in salt to preserve it, then maybe you smoke it. That's literally as complicated as bacon gets. However, bacon is pretty much the number one food on the Internet today, and it's only as a joke now.
KnowYourMeme.com tells me there was a bacon site back in 2004, and s**t has only spiraled out of control since then. Books, memes, songs, cartoons, Epic Meal Time, bacon lip balm, bacon jelly beans and bacon lube all exist for the love of bacon. No one likes bacon enough to literally, sincerely want to use it as a sexual lubricant, and if, perchance, some mental deficiency gave rise to that desire, they'd never find another suitably despicable person to bacon hump.
If we take it for granted that, yes, bacon can be delicious and there's nothing wrong with eating a Baconator once or twice a year, but no, no one gives as much of a s**t about bacon as its presence on the Internet indicates, then why is it so damn popular?
Bacon is subversive.
Bacon is counterculture awesomeness. We all know we need to avoid trans fats. We should wear sunscreen and make sure we're getting enough folate. We need prostate exams and pap smears as genetics dictates. We should drink water and maybe replace that side of fries with a nice garden salad sometimes. We should exercise and stop jerking off in the back seats of cabs. Bacon is the freedom that society very politely asks us to deny ourselves.
No one is making anyone be healthy, and the news is happy to tell us all, every day, that we're not healthy. There's an obesity epidemic. I'm sweating just typing this. There's no call to action, no government mandating that you change your life at all, but it's implicit, all the time, that you're scum for being unhealthy. You're what's wrong with America, you fat, lazy American. And you lift your middle finger, which is wrapped in crispy, greasy pork fat, and you don't give a s**t.
It's human nature to push back when pushed, and bacon is the push back that Internet culture, a culture of people who have to sit in one spot and not do anything, produced. It represents freedom from the tyranny of low-fat vegan hot dogs and fun runs. It represents what's good. Even if you'd probably die and prove all those health nuts right if you ate even a fraction of what the Internet thinks is acceptable.
For more from Fortey, check out The 5 Most Ridiculously Awful Computers Ever Made and 10 Popular Porn Scenarios That Seem Highly Implausible .