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Listen, you soulless corporate demons. A KFC bath bomb already exists: it's called eating KFC in the bath. Why are you trying to commodify our shame? If I want to smell like soap-drenched chicken, all I have to do is hop in the tub with my family-sized bucked of KFC, turn my rubber ducky away so I can't see his judgmental eyes, and weep as I trade in the last of my dignity for the comfort of eating greasy fried foods while submerged in warm bubbles.

But let's suppose you're marketing this for the people who just want to smell like sudsy meat, without ingesting the roughly two billion calories found in a bucket of chicken. I've got a far more affordable option: bouillon cubes. You can pick them up right in the grocery store for like a couple of bucks. Bouillon cubes come in beef and chicken flavors, and can be used to make broths. And who's to say that can't include a broth made in your bathtub and flavored with naked human. Besides, you can save the bathwater after you're done and use it in a nice stew!

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Did the idea of brewing your own human-flavored filthy chicken stock make you throw up in your mouth a little? Congratulations, you have more sense than whatever marketing team KFC paid to come up with these bath bombs. But if your secret fetish is being the mushy carrot in a bowel chicken soup, then you'd better hustle: these bath bombs are for a contest of which there are only 100 "lucky" winners. Winner winner chicken... ugh... dinner.

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