There's A KFC Scented Bath Bomb Because The Devil Is Real

Listen, you soulless corporate demons. A KFC bath bomb already exists: it's called eating KFC in the bath. Why are you trying to commodify our shame? If I want to smell like soap-drenched chicken, all I have to do is hop in the tub with my family-sized bucked of KFC, turn my rubber ducky away so I can't see his judgmental eyes, and weep as I trade in the last of my dignity for the comfort of eating greasy fried foods while submerged in warm bubbles.

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But let's suppose you're marketing this for the people who just want to smell like sudsy meat, without ingesting the roughly two billion calories found in a bucket of chicken. I've got a far more affordable option: bouillon cubes. You can pick them up right in the grocery store for like a couple of bucks. Bouillon cubes come in beef and chicken flavors, and can be used to make broths. And who's to say that can't include a broth made in your bathtub and flavored with naked human. Besides, you can save the bathwater after you're done and use it in a nice stew!

Did the idea of brewing your own human-flavored filthy chicken stock make you throw up in your mouth a little? Congratulations, you have more sense than whatever marketing team KFC paid to come up with these bath bombs. But if your secret fetish is being the mushy carrot in a bowel chicken soup, then you'd better hustle: these bath bombs are for a contest of which there are only 100 "lucky" winners. Winner winner chicken... ugh... dinner.

For more check out What Stupid Conspiracy Theory Is Out There Now? (10/28/2017) and What Stupid Thing Is Trending Now? (10/28/2017).

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