I won't lie, sometimes all that extra work sounds daunting. Dragging your ass out of a hole can take a lot of time and effort, and you're occasionally going to find yourself on the laugh-track side of a slammed door. But it is possible to find help.
Sometimes the key is as simple as knowing how to spread it out. You have five problems? How about not unloading all five on one friend? You have one minor problem? How about tucking that one away just this once and doing something fun with your friend? Maybe find a new person to fling that shit around with? If you keep piling problem upon problem on the same person, you will absolutely be put in their mental file marked, "I don't have the energy for this today."
You Don't Give Them A Happy Ending
You know what feels amazing? (Not that, pervert.) Knowing you made a difference. So, when somebody helps you, TELL THEM.
As far as I'm concerned, if someone listens to you about a problem, you have a friggin' obligation to report back and tell them how it went. Otherwise you're just a human cliffhanger, and nobody likes that.
Also known as "Stallone-ing" them.
There's a great feeling in finding out that your advice legitimately helped someone. But if you never get the follow-up, you never get to experience it. Instead, you just hear problem, problem, problem, without a, "Oh, hey, I wanted to thank you. That advice you gave me literally saved my marriage!" After a while you're going to stop giving advice to anyone, ever. Because what's the damn point?
Do it! Grab your phone, text the person who listened to you six months ago and say, "Hey, thanks again for being there, I'm so much happier banging his brother now!" Or "Thanks for listening to me freak out about that job interview. It was a total disaster! Haha! But I've got another one lined up in two weeks." Even if people don't like the ending to your movie, they at least deserve to make it to the credits.
Plus, you're on your phone anyways. Just goddamn tell them!
If nothing else, doing that will help you focus on the positive. It will help you remember that most problems, no matter how bad, are temporary. Resolutions are a good thing. At the very least, they let the friend feel a sense of, "Thank God that problem is finally over with. If I had to hear about that goddamn dog wedding for one more second, I was going to adopt every dog on the planet, so nobody else could ever have one."
Mags writes books about creepy stalkers, murder and kissing. You can bother her on Twitter @magsstorey.
For more check out The 5 Worst Things People Do When Trying to 'Help' and 5 Things Men Will Never Understand About Consoling a Woman.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel and check out Why Romantic Comedies Are Secretly Bad for You - After Hours, and watch other videos you won't see on the site!
Also follow us on Facebook. Give it a shot.