Last week, Michigan, (ranked 5th in the country), lost to the Appalachian State Mountaineers, (ranked nothing in nowhere). Also, it was opening day. Also, Michigan was at home. Also, this is the biggest goddamn upset in college football history. When you're a nationally ranked, Big Ten team with aspirations of snagging the championship, you do NOT lose to the Junior Varsity. That's not a rule I ever thought I'd have to spell out. For anyone who either doesn't follow sports or doesn't care enough to understand just how devastating of an upset this is, I've provided a handy list of non-sports-related parallels to illustrate:
Everybody loves a good old-fashioned meltdown.
Many of today's celebrities have some real surprises in their family trees.
Our bodies are changing.
Fictional love triangles are always a rigged game.