Appalachian State Mountaineers for President

Last week, Michigan, (ranked 5th in the country), lost to the Appalachian State Mountaineers, (ranked nothing in nowhere). Also, it was opening day. Also, Michigan was at home. Also, this is the biggest goddamn upset in college football history. When you're a nationally ranked, Big Ten team with aspirations of snagging the championship, you do NOT lose to the Junior Varsity. That's not a rule I ever thought I'd have to spell out. For anyone who either doesn't follow sports or doesn't care enough to understand just how devastating of an upset this is, I've provided a handy list of non-sports-related parallels to illustrate:

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

  • Chuck Norris enters a kickboxing competition only to lose out to Dakota Fanning.
  • After losing to David, Goliath proceeds to lose to David's younger, slower, not-nationally-ranked brother, Stanley.
  • Superman loses a wrestling match to Rick Allen, one-armed drummer of Def Leppard.
  • The reanimated corpse of Franklin Delano Roosevelt runs as a nominee of both the Republicans and Democrats in 2010, only to lose to a Green-party-affiliated bag of ham.
  • The Beatles, circa 1967, enter a battle of the bands but lose to The Plain White T's and nine and a half minutes of Hey There Delilah.
To turn on reply notifications, click here

3 Comments

Load Comments

More Blogs

15 Baffling Questions Raised By The X-Men Movies

The X-Men series has been held together by duct tape and hope.

106

5 Cartoon Moments That Would Traumatize The Characters

This should have resulted in years of therapy.

95

12 Weird Changes The Government Asked Famous Movies to Make

Sometimes it's just a matter of making the US Department of Defense look, like, REALLY cool.

126

5 Apocalypse Scenarios You Should Stop Worrying About

Actual impending doom like global climate change or mass extinction just makes people bored.

179

4 (Alleged) Acts Of Revenge From Powerful People

There are few things more dangerous than someone who is really powerful and equally petty.

63

11 Everyday Gadgets That Just Wouldn't Die

Nothing lasts forever ... except these things.

88