1 4-ounce pack smoked salmon
Salt and pepper
1 baguette, cut into 1/4-inch slices
3 sprigs fresh dill
1 Garlic clove
8 ounces whipped cream cheese
1/2 a red onion
Diced chives for garnishDirections:
1) Place the baguette slices on a baking pan and drizzle lightly with olive oil, salt, and pepper.
2) Bake at 400 degrees until lightly toasted, about 10 minutes.
3) Mince the dill and garlic clove. Combine in a bowl with the whipped cream cheese.
4) Slice the -- oh, wait. There's a knock at the door. Stop what you're doing and look through the peephole. Ugh. Goddamn it. It's mom. She's, like, 20 minutes early. You're still in basketball shorts and a ratty T-shirt. You've barely started cooking. She never even calls as a heads up. That's so ... her. Whatever. Open the door. Hug her. It's her day, after all.
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"Yeah, mom. You're right. Arriving at times not previously agreed upon is what the kids are doing nowadays."
5) After an exchange of pleasantries and a wishing of a Happy Mother's Day, go back to cooking.
6) Cut the onions into thin slices, set aside.
7) Give your girlfriend an apologetic "Yeah, I know ..." look when she comes out of the bedroom with a towel wrapped around her head and she's surprised by the early arrival of your mom.