Crime. You just hate that crime, don't you? Whether it's because your parents were brutally murdered or your television was brutally stolen, you've vowed to do everything you can to stop crime. Not stop it; you want to kick crime's teeth in. Talk is cheap, and you're ready for something concrete, more concrete than "nothing at all," which is what the rest of us are planning on doing. "But what?" you ask, while browsing the aisles of a cape store. "What can one man -- one extraordinarily surly man -- do?" I'll tell you what. You're going to go make some citizen's arrests. And I'm going to tell you how.
... as well as a a Canadian lawyer ...
I am the hero Gotham deserves.__
I initially considered rigging up my phone in my car to have a scrolling LED and a voice search feature so I could have conversations with it. That would also give me something to drive around in, looking for crime, and something to slide across the hood of when crime needed to be foiled. But then I remembered that I
It turns out that a split-squat tiptoed punch is more dangerous to the puncher than everyone else in the world.
"You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to ... uh ... remain an attorney. If you do not remain silent, an attorney may be held against you."I then formally placed the young tough under citizen's arrest. Seeing the blank look on her face, I could tell she wasn't going to make things easy, at which point I escalated and conducted about 20 seconds of a Tae Bo routine right in front of her face. Finally, a reaction -- the hoodlum set the wallet down at her feet, then backed away from me slowly, accidentally tripping over a curb as she did so. Success -- I'd gotten my first "collar"!
"The safe word for tonight is justice."__
"And this key to the city is awarded to Darren Mitchell, who, having saved the president from ninjas, proved that, indeed, he was a Bad Enough Dude."__