How This Works In Practice:
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"I'll be straight with you: If you're really a team player, you'd get your ass kicked and bleed all over the carpet while we laugh and point at you."
How To Fake It:
Because this combines elements of both reward and fear, we need to proceed carefully, and with full knowledge of the ... OK, it's fear. We're going with fear. Fear of something is a powerful motivating factor, far stronger than the motivation that possible rewards provide. So if there's ever a choice, go with fear.
So let's say you've got some dishes to do. Well that sucks, and you're right to avoid it.
You're nobody's dream, dishes.
So engineer your life so that some social calamity will result if your dishes aren't done. Like, invite some friends or some ex-lovers or your lawyers over to a party. Gotta clean then. And this is yet another case in which kidnapping several children is one of the smartest things you can do. Not only is that fun and inspirational on its own, but you'll also know you have get those dishes cleaned up for your house to look its best when they feature you on Dateline.
"Shaken, though thankfully unharmed, the children reported that it was much nicer on the inside."
Chris Bucholz is a Cracked columnist and gets off his ass many times a day. The author of the science fiction novel, Severance, his next novel, Freeze/Thaw is available for pre-order now! Join him on Facebook or Twitter.
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Learn how Judd Apatow used revenge as his motivation in 5 Famous People Whose Best Work Was Motivated By Revenge, and read about the company that used waterboarding as a motivational tool in 6 Motivational Exercises That Went Horribly Wrong.
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