1. Hitler AIDS
Isn't that amazing? No, I'm not psychic, I just watch you very closely. Very. Closely. Anyway, the sad truth of the matter is that every door-to-door knife salesman you'll ever meet is one rejection away from turning that Santoku carver on his own kidneys.
Without naming names, I'm of course talking about Cutco. Oh shit. Unread that part. But for reals, Cutco is to a general sense of workplace satisfaction what a scuba trip through a Bolivian sewer is to personal hygiene. For years, this company has existed to sell you knives that can cut through leather and rope and pennies and shit, and you will never, ever need to cut any of that with your steak knife. Not ever.
Why did I waste all my money on those fucking knives?!
As a customer of Cutco, you have a few things going for you. First, the knives are actually pretty high quality. Second, you're as mythical as a unicorn because no one buys Cutco knives. As a seller of Cutco knives, you have everything going against you. You're expected to call every person you've ever interacted with for more than five minutes and set up a time when you can come to their home, their sanctuary, with your little bundle of shyster tricks and force them to endure a solid 30 minutes of you hacking apart leather strips with a butter knife. For the love of Christ, who needs to cut strips of leather with a butter knife? The son of a bitch who wants that already has a knife that can do that. He doesn't need you there. No one needs you there!