You're Friends With Your Ex
Man, I've told you about my ex before, but if you need a refresher, after we broke up, she wanted the toilet mat back from our bathroom. So it's safe to say we didn't remain friends. But if we had, maybe that would mean one of us was a psychopath. Because that's what psychopaths do: They stay friendly with their exes. Please take a moment to think back through all of your own relationships.
The reasoning here is that some people who opt to stay friends with exes don't do so for reasons of evolved maturity and basic human kindness. Instead, their motivation is rooted in more of those classic dark personality traits. They keep in contact with an ex because it's a convenient resource for things like money, sex, or information.
The thing you need to remember about a psychopath is that they can be very charming. Part of their insidiousness is their ability to play your emotions. These are the ones who are just kind and giving enough that it ensures they'll be in your orbit when they inevitably need something from you. You break up one day, and next thing you know, they're at your place every other day to piss on that toilet mat again.
Just remember, that doesn't mean all your exes are psychos, and there's probably been a handful of legit cases where people broke up and remained mostly friends in a non-disturbing way. Still, I'm pretty sure these findings explain every one of Ross' actions on Friends.
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