The law that allowed this to happen gives gun-happy Texans the legal right to protect themselves with deadly force to prevent a whole array of crimes, including arson, burglary, and any crime, however minor, that falls under the insanely huge umbrella of "criminal mischief during the nighttime."
I searched the phrase "night mischief," and this popped up, and you're as crazy as Texas if you think I'm not using it.
As this Vanity Fair article points out, that can include something as minor as graffiti, a crime that's generally a misdemeanor punishable by a $50 fine. That's provided no one catches you in the act, of course. In that case, you're probably about to die.
And Craigslist can help make it happen! Don't worry, though, the perpetrators do get caught and punished for their crimes sometimes. It's just that those are usually the saddest stories of all. Case in point ...
Husband Tries to Get Wife Raped, Wife Wins With Guns
David De Lossy/Photodisc/Getty
So here's the most terrifying shit ever. A 32-year-old Twin Falls, Idaho, man hatched a scheme to have strangers show up at his home and help his wife live out her bizarre rape fantasies. You normally wouldn't bat an eyelash at a story like that coming from Craigslist, except for the part where, in this case, the wife actually had no clue any of this was happening.
Her husband, potentially the worst person of all time, exchanged emails with men while posing as her and, you know, made rape arrangements. The instructions made it clear that the sexual-assaultist-for-hire should not stop, no matter how much resistance he faced. There was a hitch in the plan, though, in that his wife will shoot a motherfucker.
Does a creep asking for you by name at the door before saying, "I'm here for you," necessitate gun violence? You bet! Especially when it's followed by that same maniac forcing his way in and chasing you through the house. That happened, but she reached that aforementioned gun. It went off as her attacker was trying to take it from her, at which point he fled, never to be captured.
This picture just feels like it belongs here.
This is where you'd expect the plan would come to a screeching halt, but that's because you're not a fucking menace to common decency like so many depraved animals on Craigslist. Instead of putting a stop to things, the husband sent someone else to try it again two days later.
That creepshow was Michael "No Relation to P. Diddy" Combs, and boy was he surprised when what he thought was his willing co-conspirator pulled out a gun. Practice makes a lot of things perfect, including the ability to get to your weapon fast enough to subdue the criminal trying to have his way with you.
Unfortunately, she didn't shoot him right in the goddamn face, but she did call the police, who were presumably like, "Holy shit, again?" before arriving moments later. This time, they searched the husband's phone and found all sorts of the kind of digital evidence that dipshits in murder shows who don't understand the Internet never realize even exists.
The cellphone tower is the most accomplished crime-fighter of the 21st century.
So, in the long run, the scheme failed and (most of) the responsible parties were apprehended. That's great! What's less great is that this kind of thing happens all the damn time, and you won't be at all shocked to learn that it rarely ends with the victim standing over her attacker with a gun.
Why does it happen so much? I'd love to chalk it up to the standard "dudes are the worst," which really does work for so many things, but there's a crazy woman in San Diego who can challenge that argument in this case. She posted "Rape Wanted" ads on Craigslist targeting a young woman after she was outbid on a house she wanted to buy.
So, it's more like "sometimes people are the worst," unfortunately, and when you combine that with the fact that Craigslist gives you the ability to place an order for the most depraved things society has to offer and have them delivered directly to any door in the world, including your own, it amounts to a quick and easy recipe for disaster.
Adam is on Twitter, and it's totally safe to follow him there @adamtodbrown.
For more from Adam, check out 5 Stories That Prove Police Are Just as Terrifying in Canada and 6 of the Happiest Songs Ever (Are About Death).
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