For the purpose of this column, I'm speaking about and dealing with the famous Krispy Kreme glazed doughnut. If you show up when they first take a new batch out of the gallons of grease in which they're cooked, employees emerge from the shadows and give out free samples, like crack dealers campaigning for new customers at an after school program. They turn on a red neon sign to let people know that time has arrived, which is appropriate, in that eating a Krispy Kreme doughnut is like whoring your pancreas out to diabetes.
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Krispy Kreme franchises have been dying off at an alarming rate in recent years, though, so those hot doughnut encounters are few and far between these days. If you were the type who'd jump a median at the sight of that hot-treat beacon, learning to make a Krispy Kreme doughnut at home might be your only option.
The Biggest Hassle of Making It:
For brevity's sake, instead of me retelling the entire preparation process, if you're truly interested in the technical details of making your own doughnuts, you should just read the recipe I'm basing this on at some point later when it doesn't involve diverting your attention from me and the important work I'm doing right now.
Instead, going forward, I'm going to use this section to tell you what you really want to know about making fast food items at home, which, of course, is how much of a goddamn hassle it's going to be.
In the case of a Krispy Kreme doughnut, it's a whole lot. The directions involve 24 separate steps, and you could watch pretty much any movie that isn't directed by James Cameron in less time than it takes to make a batch. By far, though, the biggest burden is the dough.
Still more fun to watch than Titanic.